I hope that yesterday all single mothers in Jamaica had a great day filled with gratitude from the children they are raising or have raised alone. You all deserve a medal, make that 100 medals, not just for the task but for the decision to go it alone.

Two parents are ideal but they invariably encounter challenges so the homes with just a mother must suffer the consequences of the missing father. Far too often we see where young boys grow into dysfunctional men because of the absence of the 'man lessons' so passionately advocated by Judge Joe Brown of the popular American television show. At the risk of incurring the wrath of my sisters, I can categorically state that women cannot father children anymore than men can mother them!

Lacking softer qualities

As the product of a single-father household, I know for a fact that in an effort to keep us girls safe from what my dad knew men could do to us negatively, we grew up lacking in the softer, gentler qualities that our absent mother would have brought to the table. He was a great provider, made many sacrifices to get us an education, showed us love and was an excellent protector, but he was just one and we missed the mothering. Sorry folks, this activity was intended for two full-time participants.

I applaud the success of mothers who have gone and continue to go it alone, but I have never felt that brave or arrogant enough to think I could handle all the challenges by myself. I have also been guided largely by my selfish nature knowing as I do that children require 24/7 attention, care and nurturing. To take on motherhood is to be prepared to forget yourself and focus on the awesome responsibility for another human being.

Motherhood should not be taken lightly and women should think long and hard before taking the solo step. So, if the following are your reasons for wanting to become a mother, think again:

1. You feel your biological clock ticking.

2. You are feeling pressured by family and peers who already have children.

3. Even though you do not have a steady partner, you have a great career and the financial resources to afford the child's physical needs.

4. You feel it is your obligation to fulfil your womanhood by procreating and see children as old-age pension.

5. You are afraid of being regarded as a mule (barren).

6. The relationship failed but you are going ahead with the pregnancy to spite the man.

lifestyle@gleanerjm.com