I have always hated to see children sucking on a pacifier, especially if they are over two years old. I believed it was a nasty habit facilitated by 'fool-fool' people who think for some abstract reason that it is cute. The only thing I hated more was to see them sucking their fingers. That's just plain nasty, I thought.

But since having my child, I have realised the benefits of these habits. Sucking their fingers and using a pacifier help children to learn to self-soothe. These 'tools' allow them to comfort themselves when needed, without the aid of parents.

This means that the child who can self-soothe when he or she is awake at night usually just needs to be directed to a finger or pacifier and the crying will end. Conversely, a child with high needs will cry until a parent lifts and rocks him or her back to sleep, and sometimes that won't help on its own. The parent, therefore, has more to bear and the child may take longer to learn to sleep through the night. While my child does not suck her fingers or use a pacifier, I sometimes wish she did so I could get more sleep!

However, the thought of having to break her off the pacifier and or orthodontic costs usually comfort me in my choice to prevent her from doing either. The bottomline is, I am no longer so quick to judge when I see these habits in children. Each parent does the best he or she can.

- Tamika Small

Reward your child with small tokens or gifts as a motivator for the things they should do. For instance, in my household, one hour dedicated to reading is rewarded by half an hour of watching a favourite TV show.