Fe-mail ties - Goddess time: The M (r) evolution II

Published: Monday | July 20, 2009



D-Empress

'The M (r)evolution' published on July 6, caused quite a stir. Not surprising you may say! Apart from the novelty of the menstruation cup, the ructions were more about the M-word itself!

It strikes me that much female talk about menstruation is usually in reference to fertility issues or - at the other end of the spectrum - menopausal hormone challenges. All real, no doubt, but often tinged with a backdrop of pejorative notions and sensibilities around our sacred time - menstruation.

I'll never forget the look of pain and regret when a 40-something Johannesburg mother, Ntombi, told me about how sorry she was that she 'missed' her daughter's first period. She was travelling on business and received a call to say that her daughter had seen her menarche (the first menstrual period). Ntombi efficiently organised some sanitary towels and told her daughter they would talk when she returned home.

Tears welled as Ntombi recalled her own menarche, remembering how her mother and aunts joyously honoured her in the rite of passage from girl-child into womanhood. She told me about the special ceremony, the words of wisdom and how empowered she felt as she was welcomed to a new world of female accomplishment.

Her lament that day was not only about her absence, but she confessed that even if she was home, she wouldn't have known what to do. The matriarchs who had birthed her evolution into womanhood were no longer around.

Angst filled

Ntombi felt she had failed her daughter and, as we spoke, she became even more angst filled as she acknowledged that she had underestimated the value, beauty and power that her matriarchs were celebrating at her menarche ceremony.

As she spoke my mind flashed back to my matriarchal circle and how during a family holiday, my aunts recalled their introduction into womanhood. Light years away from Ntombi's ceremony, theirs was closer to her daughter's experience. They told me of the indignity they felt for years as each month they hung their pieces of cloth, duly scrubbed lily white, on a line in the yard against the backdrop of the green hills of Trelawny, Jamaica.

Some of my aunts were in the midst of their own private summers (read: menopausal hot flashes) and so theirs was a tale of at least 40 years of nestling shame around their menstrual period.

As I learn more about the rituals in menarche ceremonies across the world and the folklore, mysticism and sanctity linked to our menstrual cycle, I'm stunned at how detached we've become from the potency of our menstrual time.

Rite of passage

There are many reasons why ancient cultures in Africa and around the world honoured the menache as a rite of passage, and many still do.

So what of our contemporary culture? Our monthly gift which the sages tell us augers new life, prosperity and blessings, has been relegated to a biological function spoken about in hushed voices. Ntombi's story, a short generation ago, illustrates a diminishing heritage of female-centric power that we will lose at our peril.

We may not all have access to indigenous knowledge of time-honoured rituals but we can all create space for revivication each month as we renew the goddess within.

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