Kelly

It must be the heat of summer that has successfully fried some of my brain cells.

There I was, skimming through a publication recently, when I spotted a truly hot babe ... on the arm of a gorilla! Now this guy is somebody's child, I know, and to his parents he's probably Mr Universe. But, to me, he's just another hairy beast who, somehow, has 'the girl'.

That incident was the latest in a string of similar episodes, over let's say three months, that have me drinking Pepto Bismol whenever they occur. So it has led me to believe that I am (drum roll please) 'bad mind' in the true Jamaican sense of the term. If people could literally turn green with envy, then I looked like an iguana (without the tail). I tried to rationalise the whole thing by saying that it was human to feel a little jealous of others but I started to imagine what kind of car he drives, what kind of money he makes, and how he convinced her to be his belle. I prefer to assume he chased her because if she was the one who initiated the action, then my ulcer is going to get even worse.

Two very important lessons come to mind (in comparison to child soldiers in central Africa, my life is absolute bliss). First, there's always somebody worse than you so be thankful. Second, work with what you have while working for what you want. Two solid philosophies that would make my grandfather proud, I'm sure. But that hasn't cured my bad mind one bit.

Immune to 'bad mind'

Now I don't 'bad mind' everybody. There are some people who are immune to being 'bad minded' by me. Sports personalities belong to this group. They have to train too hard and, besides, they actually have special talent. If I had any I would be playing or running, etc. And how do you bad mind a doctor who has been practising for 30 years and was the first in his family to read properly and go to college? How do you grudge an abused wife who, after finally taking a stand, got the courage to leave her spouse and has transformed her life, becoming a success on her own? Simple answer, you can't feel anything but admiration for those folks.

But there are some others whom I just can't seem to root for and that guy, along with other guys like him, is one of them. I've never met the dude and quite possibly he's as cool a bloke as you can find.

But right now, as it stands, 'mi nuh like him'! And, knowing my luck, I might run into him really soon. Cho!

Bun out bad mind at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com

If people could literally turn green with envy, then I would have looked like this iguana. - File