This whole graduation business came up last week with the prime minister mulling over the possibility of a policy that, to my understanding, would curb the spending associated with these rites of passage.

I've always felt that some students (and parents) forget that graduation is merely a ceremony to mark that the child has passed through this phase. It doesn't mean the student is going to come out to anything. It just means he or she satisfied most of the requirements to be involved in the exercise. What some folks fail to realise is that the examination results are a far bigger indication of whether their money has been well spent. But because we Jamaicans love spectacles, we go for the fancy stuff.

So let's do the math for a second. If you have three children, one finishing basic school, another, primary school, and a third leaving high school, that's three graduations in a short space of time. And it always seems to happen in lower-income families. The really rich parents don't have that many children. It's usually one or two, and, in the event it is two, they may be so spaced that the parents never have to do two graduations at the same time.

End of the world

Some parents show more interest in how many seats they can secure for the graduation than they ever showed in the previous years of the child's school life. Add some students act like not making it to graduation is the end of the world. It hurts to not be able to stand up there with their friends but, perhaps, if they hadn't been tardy so many times, or had just declined the invitation for that bus joyride, they would have had the privilege. Some students see it as a right and would love to get that piece of paper just to say, 'I've done it', to the teachers who gave them a hard time.

By the way, you ever notice how some of the students look different at the graduation? Somehow the hair gets longer, the eyes get greener, the skin gets lighter and the 'I'm-so-special attitude' gets more prevalent. At least at the tertiary level they have reason to brag since some of them may have, by graduation time, gained employment.

I propose shorter, less extravagant ceremonies (don't even need gowns really 'cause Jamaica is hot!). Those consistent top performers whose parents really don't have it can get special help; everybody else pays. And no ceremonies below prep/primary level.

Who really needs to see a photo of a child at age six, in cap and gown, at a graduation from Miss Matty's Basic School (which is now closed)? Get real, folks.

If you're in awe that I graduated from anywhere, tell me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com