Some of the biggest sexual concerns of men, and by extension their partners, are their insecurities concerning sexual performances. One of these, which happens to be a common complaint, is premature ejaculation. This is where the man ejaculates too quickly, ultimately affecting sexual intercourse with his partner. But on the other side of the scale is the complete opposite, delayed ejaculation.

Clinical sexologist, Dr Sydney McGill says delayed ejaculation is a medical condition where although intensely sexually aroused, the male is unable to reach an orgasm within a subjective period of time. According to McGill, while there is no set time for a man to reach an orgasm, as it depends on certain factors including his partner, the average time is between five to twenty minutes. "When it is taking a lengthy time, especially over an hour of constant penile penetration or stimulation, there is a problem," says McGill.

Psychological problems

The sexologist highlights that the causes of this type of retarded ejaculation are not fully known. However, he says it is, often, linked to psychological problems. "Perhaps the male had some kind of an emotional conflict with a significant female member, for instance his mother or sister, and he is unable to move past this and has made a generalisation about women. He is unable to deal with this problem which is carried over into his sexuality."

Depression is also said to be a cause of delayed ejaculation. And McGill says a number of anti-depressant medications on the market are made of ingredients which contribute to the condition. He also notes that traces of these components can be found in medication used to treat other conditions.

To treat this sexual disorder, McGill uses the method of systematic desensitisation which entails masturbation. This involves the male masturbating under different circumstances, instructed by the sexologist. For instance, he may be asked to masturbate knowing that his partner is in another room, and it would then gradually reach to the point where it is done in the partner's presence. Ultimately, all the instructions and steps would lead to penetration, but, of course, when the time is right.

Assessment needed

Before treatment is exercised, Dr McGill says the individual would have to be assessed. "We have to check to see if the person is depressed, do a psychosocial assessment of the client and perhaps start a behavioural treatment. We also do psychotherapy to find out the relationships they had with some of the more important females in their lives to try and unearth repressed negative feelings, because sometimes there are unresolved issues that they don't even know about."

Masturbation as a method of overcoming this disorder, according to Dr McGill is not just a way to achieve an orgasm but also to know the body. "They should be aware of the different feelings and how they can achieve them. I tell my clients that they are responsible for their orgasms, not their partners," he says.

Treatment varies according to the client and is based on how the condition originated. "Situational ones come about because of certain factors like a difficult relationship. Then there is the lifelong one, which they've had for most of their lives and have just recognised the need for help. Lifelong is easier to treat than the situational."

The sexologist says that the support of partners makes it much easier for men to overcome delayed ejaculation.

latoya.grindley@gleanerjm.com