Flair has turned up the thermostat in the rooms of women of all ages with its 2009 list of eligible bachelors, and the older dames are not happy at all. The team at The Gleaner's Lifestyle desk told me that they are getting tons of calls from older women who constantly ask, "where are the men for us?" "What about men our age?"

Well they are too nice to tell you all the truth, so I will. The men your age (45-65), are divorced and now into much younger models. Yes, they have slowed down to pick up speed. If you were married and are now divorced, you had your chance, and as far as I am concerned, you blew it, so just chill and focus on giving your daughters and grand-daughters some advice that will keep them from turning into you.

Pathetic, andropausal old goats

Wake up to the fact that most of the men your age are no longer eligible bachelors. They are now used goods! They are pathetic, andropausal old goats who are so afraid everything is going downhill, they are pretending to be half their age. They are now prone to prostate problems, their libido is limping and their doctors can't prescribe Viagra fast enough for them to keep up with the hotties.

They are dyeing their hair, buying fast cars every year, and the young babes are emptying their wallets faster than Olint and Cash Plus. They are abandoning their blood pressure medication because it's making their members go limp and are ending up with heart attacks and strokes as a result. The bigger their paunches, the bigger their egos, and so they prefer not to face women their own age who know these facts.

So, my older single/divorced sisters, accept the blessing in disguise that you have. Forget about men for now. If you don't have the nerve to settle temporarily for a younger hunk, find useful activities to occupy your time. Be thankful that you don't have to constantly cater to the needs of selfish, old men. Read, exercise, hike, shop, paint, care for an animal but most importantly, learn to love yourself before you think about loving another unworthy bastard.

lifestyle@gleanerjm.com