What does the Dead Sea, French fries and sweat all have in common? None of them is as 'salt' as Prime Minister Bruce Golding!

No seriously, I have been thinking about this for quite some time. At first, I thought it was just coincidence, then I thought it was of his own doing, but now I truly believe that he is SALT! Let's look at the list of events shall we?

Hurricane Gustav beat the crap out of us just before the originally scheduled election day. So if he complains too much about a new date, he will seem hungry for power and uncaring for those adversely affected. Make too little a fuss and the party might lose momentum. No-win situation! Verdict: salt.

Then when it was finally settled and the Jamaica Labour Party (JLP) formed the government, it seems the crime rate (which was always high) got higher. And higher. And whatever heinous crimes occurred before, tripled the minute the JLP came into power. And with Golding being the leader, he has to take the blame. Verdict: salt again!

The big whopper though may be the global financial crisis. Analysts and those who love numbers tell us that the meltdown had been brewing for a while but, just Golding's luck, it came to an almighty crash when he is the captain of the ship. And all the problems brewing with World Wise, Cash Plus, et al, have also finally boiled over not too long after the JLP took over. Verdict: salt.

Brutally criticised

Not even on the sporting side of things has Golding had an easy time of it. Sure, there was the Olympic Games and the success of our athletes, but he was brutally criticised for the money spent on the celebrations. Both the senior and junior Reggae Boyz got knocked out of World Cup qualifying competitions and Jamaica still can't get more than one game of cricket during a tour of the Caribbean. Verdict: salt once again.

Oh and we finally had New Year fireworks again at the waterfront, only to hear complaints that they cost too much. Salt once more!

And then, to round off the salinity, we have an attempted hijacking, for the first time in our history, no less! This type of publicity we can do without. And to take the 'saltness' to another level, this mentally unstable bloke decides to do it on a plane that operates from the same country as the visiting prime minister! Now dat a salt!

I hope at the next Jamaica House Live phone-in session, someone recommends that Prime Minister Golding get a 'bath' to wash off the salt; I think he needs one!

Are you this salt? Let me know at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.

Kelly