Being a parent today is about the hardest job one could ever have. Those who do it successfully deserve a platinum medal. Make that 10 medals. Kidding aside, being a successful parent means guiding and shaping that child's life from birth through college, and finally down the aisle.

We long for the days when the worst a daughter could do was get pregnant in high school, and the only thing one had to worry about with a son was that he'd become a conscious Rastaman. Yikes!

But there are so many bumps in the road today. Children get hooked on drugs; they develop bi-polar personalities; they are closet alcoholics and you could throw in a secret terrorist or pedophile. As for potential suicide victims, don't get me started.

When I was a child, my parents were not afraid to know every possible detail about my so-called business. In fact, I had no private business; no lock on my room door; no drawers that they couldn't open; no television set in my room; no friend whose family history they did not know; and certainly no secret codes to any gadgets they could not figure out.

I maintain that any person under voting age, living under my roof, while I am paying all the bills, has very limited rights: The right to life, food, clothing, shelter and a solid education. For everything else, I call the shots. Like I said before, this is not America, so save calling the cops till the gunmen come.

Listen up

So, mommies and daddies, listen up: all computers, BlackBerrys, My Space, Twitter, Facebook profiles with alarmingly deep, dark secrets and dangerous thoughts must be monitored daily. Become the head private detective in your precinct. You are in charge, so act like it. No democracy, your home is your first dictatorship. Don't live in denial; check their every move and strange behaviour, especially during the teen years when they naturally retreat to their own worlds.

That way, you don't have to worry about getting strange calls that your child hanged himself in his room, or raped the neighbour's child, or shot a classmate with daddy's gun, or is at the police station with a bag of coke or, God forbid, is attempting to hijack a plane.

Feedback to: lifestyle@gleanerjm.com

Become the head private detective in your precinct. You are in charge, so act like it. No democracy, your home is your first dictatorship. Don't live in denial; check their every move.