POSITIVE Parenting

I've heard of this happening to friends of mine, and now I'm starting to experience it myself. The ultimate competition has started folks, the one that plagues every parent, and ultimately their children: Has your baby started doing 'a' yet? Whose kid is the best at 'b'?

Does it even matter?

The book says (there it goes again) that by the time our infant boy reaches four months, he should be sleeping through the night. As my paediatrician told me a couple weeks ago, when I asked her why our son wasn't, "The baby has not read the book." I giggle every time I think about that statement. How ridiculously implicit, but how true it is. Perhaps I should order the 'My Baby Can Read' programme, which has been advertised on cable television! (More giggles).

Indicators to look for

In all fairness, though, there are indicators to look out for when ensuring that your child is developing at the appropriate rate. These are important, as any doctor will tell you, and if you notice that something is off, or if you are worried at all, then you ought to inform the necessary person. That being said, don't go racing off to the paediatric clinic when your neighbour's kid starts walking at 10 months, and your one-year-old hasn't even taken her first step! Do, however, be concerned if she is unable to sit up without support at the same age.

The first time I was in a room full of competing parents was some years ago. I remember thinking how crazy it sounded that they were discussing which prep schools they'd applied to send their kids to. I calculated that said children would not be entering said schools for at least four years! Fast forward to present day, with some winning the 'race' and others losing. While the bragging, about how well one's toddler has done in his school interview, is not as blatant as I've seen from mothers in New York City and London (I lived in both cities), it still happens. I am sure that this kind of pressure is neither good for the child, nor for the parents.

The competitiveness extends to all stages of child-rearing. The other day, I was downtrodden by a lady who couldn't believe that our son had not yet started playing with the toys hanging from his car seat handle. Her daughter, she said, had done so by the time she was two months old. Whoop ti do! Good for her! By the way, the girl is now three, and no more advanced than any other kid her age! And for her information, my baby boy has begun to notice and touch his toys! So there!

Not worried

You see folks, here I am getting all stressed out and feeling the need to prove that my baba is not backward! I hope I don't turn into one of those parents who show-off to the newbies!

Truth is, I'm not worried at all. In fact, I have travelled the other route. In other words, whenever I am asked if the little man has done 'x' yet, or accomplished 'y', I take great pride in saying that he has not. I explain that I am not concerned, as each person is different and grows at his or her own pace. So far, reactions have been positive, in my view. A lid is put on the boasting canister, and the urge to say, "My baby's better at that than your baby," seems to be curtailed. Unless, of course, they're saving it for someone else!

Emmadaltonbrown@gmail.com