Ever wonder if the guy/girl of your dreams is right under your nose but you're too picky to realise?

The damsel could be the cashier at your favourite fast-food outlet or your beau could be the guy packing shelves at the supermarket where you shop regularly. But, because we don't see these folks as our equals, we never give them a second look. Is it because we are picky or because we are realistic?

"Truth is, you have to be picky. Just because you have one or two things in common doesn't mean you're destined to be together," says Jerome. "Women are probably pickier than men because they want a man above a certain height and all these things." Looks play an integral part in the whole sordid mess we call courting.

"If the barmaid look good, she can deh wid yes," says Michael. But he quickly adds, "Not me, personally, but other men." Even the fairer gender go for eye candy first before getting to the core. Have you seen the women go gaga over the chiselled workmen on construction sites? Sure, but he is a construction worker and if the woman is a branch manager for the leading bank in the nation, she might have a stud but maybe not a companion.

Which leads to the issue of whether the person 'matches up' with you. Problems can arise if the two are so far apart in terms of education, profession and social status. The bigger issue, though, is whether the spouse who is on the 'lower rung' will feel intimidated.

Sideman

"If you're at a reception talking about things like financial matters and he's just standing there, not understanding a word that's being said, he might get upset and feel left out," says Viviene, who was not overjoyed when one of her daughters, who was studying to be a chartered accountant at the time, wanted to marry a guy who was a mini bus sideman. More important for her was the fact that he never showed ambition.

"She offered to pay for him to do extra lessons and go back to school and he didn't want to," she says. Eventually, they broke it off and her daughter ended up marrying an economist.

Viviene suggests, though, that if both persons feel there is something special, like love, then the family and friends should not stand in the couple's way.

Names changed upon request.

lifestyle@gleanerjm.com