Challenge your teens to become responsible by giving them duties. Whether it's ironing their school uniforms or cleaning the house, hold them accountable for something.

Through continuous practice they will become better at being responsible, and will learn key components on how to function successfully in the future, especially in the working environment.

They should be taught time management and the importance of prioritising. And to complete your task of moulding them to become responsible persons, you must reward them for a job well done and reprimand them if they did not fulfil their obligations.

Rationale - You are not training your children to only live in your house, you are teaching them how to function in the wider society. If they are habitually late for work, the boss doesn't slap them on their hand, they are asked to leave the company.

Developing a sense of purpose is much similar to developing a personality. It's about them and not you. You should not want success for your teens more than how they want it for themselves. If they are at an age such as 17 or 18 years old, they must understand the importance of doing their homework. They shouldn't do it because of any threat of punishment.

Help them to identify their goals and how they can achieve those goals. Expose them to as many opportunities as possible, whether it is getting them summer jobs or having them visit different working environments.

Rationale - Your children must not be a clone of you. I'm not saying they must not possess similar traits. They need to walk down their own path of self-development, your role is to support them. If not, they stand the chance of becoming puppets and a leech on you for the rest of their lives.

Teach them independence. I didn't say that you should throw them out in the deep end to drown, but guide them. Help them to save and manage their money. If they want a cellphone, suggest that they save for it and discuss with them the logistics of purchasing the phone. Perhaps, they will have to deny themselves some other luxury item they wanted in order to acquire the phone.

Rationale - Independent teens will most likely become independent adults. They will develop an understanding of their needs and wants, and how to obtain them without being a burden to someone else.

Academics is great, but it isn't the only ingredient for success. Don't create the impression that life is all about academics, sports or any one thing. Help them to know that they need to balance their responsibilities, with respect to school, home, friends and family. Many students have left high school without knowing what it is to have a genuine friend. Every friend they had was for convenience - in a bid to obtain their personal goals.

Rationale - This will become quite evident when your children get married and have families of their own. They might be good workers at the office, but horrible parents and spouses.

Sources

The Great Investment, by T.D. Jakes