Angela Philipps, Contributor

Here we are, the month of May. The time in which all the quibbles us single women have about men can come out in this column. I have had a bit of hate mail recently, from some pretty angry guys. Ones who think I am anti-male. The thing is, I write about what I see around me, and what my friends and readers tell me.

I am thrilled that it stirs up emotional responses from you all, because it means that you are reading and, hopefully, considering some of the points that I discuss. If you're mad because you disagree with what I say, then perhaps that's because you're a good guy. If that's the case, I am happy. If, however, the reason for your boiling blood is because there is truth in what I write, then I pray that you'll think about it seriously.

A few weeks ago I asked all you ladies to email me with your troubles about men. Though I cannot cover all the topics in four weeks, I'll do my best to combine what I can.

Shameful act

One particular letter struck me, and I believe that many of you will be able to relate to the way this woman feels. Here is an extract from what she wrote:

"I saw him one Saturday night at the supermarket and we talked a little. He then said he would take me to Port Royal to eat fish - his treat. I said ok. The following weekend I didn't have my car so he picked me up (usually he would park his car at my house and drive mine to save his gas). He took me to a fish vendor on the roadside in Port Royal - not Gloria's or Fisherman's Point (I think it is called). Roadside fish from a glass case. I didn't want him to feel bad so I didn't say anything.

"Here is the shameful part - he wanted something for his glass-case fish. I know I have been stupid with these guys. I told him I wasn't going to have sex without a condom because the last time I got a horrible infection. He said he didn't have any condom so I gave him $500 to go buy it. He didn't give me the change. He has been calling since but I am not entertaining him."

Ok, so she really has been a bit foolish with fellows if she's 'giving' herself in exchange for dinner. However, how could men really expect this? And by the way, I have heard from many horses' mouths that they do require a woman to 'give out' after they have forked out to pay for an outing!

Payback

So, why does there have to be payback? Why can't people simply go on a date to get to know one another? You really think that when a gal accepts an invitation she is actually saying, "Sure, and in exchange for taking me out, I'll go home with you and open my legs." Come on! Dating is not a forum in which one ought to be making sexual bargains. If the world does run this way, then romance is dead and none of us singletons have any hope of finding a soulmate.

Respect is due

I understand that everyone has desires, and I know that men think about sex time and again throughout each day. However, lads, don't you realise that respect is needed here? You meet someone, you find you like her, you want to see her again, and so you extend an invitation to treat her to something nice. Don't go and spoil your chances by being such an ass! If you are in it solely for the physical aspect, then go to a go-go club and find your pleasures there. Don't abuse the privilege of a lady's time. Do not think for a second that one meal will get you any sex!

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com