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Stabroek News

Why women go to the restroom in pairs?
published: Sunday | April 29, 2007

Angela Philipps, Contributor

It's the million dollar question that most men frequently ask.

Why exactly do we head to the bathroom together? What is the reason why we can't venture to the water closet (WC) on our own? What are the dark secrets of women which come out in the restrooms of restaurants, bars and department stores? Do men really care or are they just curious?

From when we are little, learning to be potty-trained, our mothers take us to the bathroom, remove our clothes and sit us down on the toilet. They ooh and ah with encouragement when we use it properly, they teach us how to clean ourselves, and from then until we are old enough to go on our own, the process is repeated daily. When our menstrual cycle begins at the start of puberty, our mothers take us back in and show us what to do as we 'come of age'.

And there we have two major events of a girl's life which have taken place in the WC and you wonder why we hold it so dearly to the sisterhood.

It's simple. We have been nurtured to regard this cubicle as a temple - where no man can reach us, and where the trials and tribulations of our lives can be heard with empathy. Guys, have you ever walked into a ladies' room by mistake? You'll remember the utter embarrassment of this occasion for the rest of your life. Especially if there were gals in there giving you the dirtiest of looks as if you'd just committed the most offensive of all crimes. And for those of you who have not disgraced yourself in this way, I advise that you don't even think about it. If you'd like to know what really goes on in there, read on.

Of course, there are some hush-hush words shared between us that I can't reveal but in general this is what we do:

  • 1.Reapply our make-up.

  • 2. Share our lipstick with our companions.

  • 3. Discuss how many drinks we've had.

  • 4. Talk about the cute guys in the bar.

  • 5. Encourage each other to "go for it" because, "It's so obvious that he likes you" (even if we have absolutely no clue!).

  • 6. Talk about the man we are in love with.

  • 7. Compliment each other on what we are wearing and where it was all bought.

  • 8. Show each other what we have bought if we are in a shop.

  • 9. Gossip about some mutual friend.

  • 10. Complain about our job or someone at work.

  • 11. Ask the question, "Did you see what that girl was wearing?" and discuss to great length.

  • 12. Mention our mothers.

  • 13. Repeatedly ask each other, "Do I look fat in this?"

  • 14. Talk about the man we are in love with (AGAIN).

  • 15. Relieve our bladders (yes we do manage to squeeze this part in!).You see boys, there's no exciting enigma here really. Due to our upbringing and early female experiences in life, we are used to having company when we go to the bathroom. In fact, this private time together has become a necessity. There are many 'girly' and 'important' things to ponder and explore which cannot be done in public.

    Gentlemen, now you understand that the only reason why the lines for women's WCs are longer than those for men is because we have so much more to achieve than you do. And clearly it is in this small room where the woes of women are mended. Can you imagine what a burden it would be on you if we didn't have this little haven?

    angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com

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