Marigold Harding, Contributor

HARDING

'Tis the season to be jolly, tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, hence there will be lots of invitations to lots of events. However, Christmas season or not, there are certain basic elements of to the invitation.

An invitation reveals the style and the purpose of an occasion. Invitations say a lot about the host as well. Are they issued in plenty of time before the event, are they well written and pleasantly spoken, are all the information included, are they inventive, casual or elegant?

You Must Reply

Whether you receive an invitation in person or by telephone, a reply is absolutely necessary. Printed invitations that include a request for a reply carry a social obligation to reply. The fact that you are invited indicates that you are important to the hosts and it is indeed a compliment. Be sure always to thank your hosts for the invitation whether or not you will be able to attend.

Elements of an Invitation

Full names (first and last) of the host for printed or engraved invitations

The nature of the occasion

The time of the event

The location of the event

On written or printed invitation, RSVP or "Regrets only" notation if you want replies with phone numbers or email addresses. Using email is reserved for casual invitation when you know that invitees are regular Internet users.

Requests that are specific to an individual are written in by hand on a printed invitation; for e.g., information such as a map to the location, a notation about what to wear or a request such as bringing a dish or a pot luck dinner or to meet someone of importance.

Every guest should receive invitation in the same form.

When more than one person or a couple is hosting, the name of the person at whose house the event will be held is normally listed first on a printed invitation.

Ending times are not listed on invitations; however there are exceptions, for e.g., children's parties and for occasions where guests are free to come and go during specific hours.

Dress instructions (black tie, business suit, casual) if the formality or informality might not be clear to guest. It should be noted that "elegantly casual" is quite often seen on invitations these days and more often than not the men are casual and the women are informal.

RSVP or "Regrets Only"

When the regrets are included on an invitation, all invitees are obliged to let your host know if you will attend. "Regrets only" applies to guests who will decline. RSVP, will give a more accurate guest count. Some reply cards are included in invitations and are a convenience to guests. These are usually limited to large events, e.g. wedding and state functions.

Addressing written or Printed Invitation

The basic rule is to include names of the people you are inviting. However, a single invitation can be sent to unmarried couples who live together intimately but the names are listed on separate lines.

An invitation to a couple and children should not be misinterpreted to mean the extended family. If you have such a family member with you and the invitation is not a formal one, you should call your host and ask if you may bring such a person.

When making oral invitations, make your meaning abundantly clear. Do not start by asking, "What are you doing Saturday night," or "Have you any plans for Saturday afternoon." State your purpose upfront when you invite by telephone. "John and I are planning a barbecue on Saturday afternoon at about 4 and we would hope you can come." The person can accept on the spot or take a little time to consider.

When and how to reply

No one is obliged to accept an invitation or to explain the reason for not accepting. However, every invitee is obliged to respond promptly when an invitation includes a request for a reply.