Tiger means: 1. large Asian animal of cat family with yellowish black stripes; fierce or energetic or formidable person. 2. large wild animal of the cat family with yellow and black stripes.

Television courtroom's Judge Joe Brown holds the view that parents ought to be careful of the names they give their children, lest they grow up to live out the characteristics or meanings implied in negative names. So serious is he about this, that he has, in his days on the bench, handed down sentences that mandated mothers of convicts to change their children's by deed pole, after doing research on the real meaning of 'inappropriate' names they were given at birth.

As I pondered this whole mess with superstar golfer Tiger Woods, I decided to examine more closely whether he can help himself. I concluded he was just being a tiger. Having been raised by a father who was an excellent dad but a consummate womaniser, I soon realised that Jamaica is populated by men like Woods, who is now at the centre of scandals about his 'animal' instincts.

Loves sex

The man just loves lots of sex with a variety of women! I don't have a problem with that. I would take a mate who is a wild sex addict over one who is an abuser, an alcoholic or a gambler as long as he plays by my rules which are:

don't let me know;

always wear condoms;

don't bring your game home; and

no bimbos or floozies must call my home or cross my path.

I have never been arrogant enough to think that I have what it takes to keep a whole man to myself forever. I will not put them through that expectation. Men cannot help themselves; they can and will cheat. History is littered with famous cheats such as: John Edwards, Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy, Bill Cosby, Rev Jessie Jackson and a slew of others held up as role models. Their indiscretions shocked the world. But I am not surprised.

Sex is 'sweet'

Have you had sex lately? It is very 'sweet', especially if the two people know how to really make it so. Heck, if society didn't frown on it, I would be doing it with at least two different men every day. You know the toe-curling-sheet-tearing-hallelujah-shouting-deep-throat-screaming type of sex that leaves your throat parched!

And that is why Popes, queens, queers and nuns are all doing it in secret. We need not be shocked if and when modern technology exposes their secrets to the rest of the world. The higher the profile and stronger the moral fibre, the more likely the men are to cheat on their wives.

Men are all controlled by their 'Peters' and their egos. Women should relax, lighten up, let Woods continue to be 'fiercely energetic and formidable' on the course and in the bedroom. Just remember that, if the shoe were on the other foot, the men couldn't stand it.

And, when they hit those crucial mid-life years, 'Peter' loses most of his ability to pounce: high blood pressure medication diminishes his returns; prostate problems set in or diabetes takes effect. Your big, bad jungle cat is forced to crawl back into its cage.

So, I hope that Tiger will have the good sense to admit that he loves a variety of sexual encounters, get a divorce and continue to roam at will.

lifestyle@gleanerjm.com