The odd thing is that I scarcely ever get pain with one of my lovers. But with the other guy, I experience it almost every time. Why?

A. I hope you will forgive me if I point out to you that in these days when infection is so common, you are leading a very dangerous life. Don't you think that it would be better to select one of these two men and end it with the other?

The next thing I must say is that when a woman in her 30s develops pain during intercourse, there is usually some good physical reason for it. In other words, I think that there must be some sort of 'disease process' going on, deep inside the pelvis.

My best guesses are that you might have endometriosis (the painful condition which affects so many women over 30) or pelvic inflammatory disease, which is caused from an infection.

But it is clear to me that you must see a doctor as soon as possible. You need to have a thorough examination and samples sent to the lab for check-up, and you should also have some swab tests taken, for sending to the lab.

Finally, we turn to the question of why it hurts when making love to one man and does not with the other.

It is obvious that there must be some difference between the two.

It could be that:

However, there is really no urgent need to sort out why you experience pain with one man and not with the other. What is urgent is that you go see a good doctor in order to get yourself investigated and then treated.

A. They are. For decades, it was believed that drinking modest amounts of alcohol during pregnancy did not harm the unborn baby.

However, in recent years it has become clear that alcohol is best completely avoided when you are pregnant.

Numerous studies have shown that even small amounts of alcohol can damage the baby, particularly its brain.

Regular alcohol consumption is more dangerous because it can give the child a serious condition called fetal alcohol syndrome, in which there is severe mental handicap.

Sounds like you may have had a few drinks, but hopefully not many since you became pregnant. I think you should now make it an absolute rule not to consume alcohol for the duration of your pregnancy. That would also be a good rule for any other expectant mothers who are reading this article.

A. No, you must not. It is obvious that there must be something wrong inside your urinary tract. I do not think it is an infection, since this is NOT a regular symptom of any known kind of venereal disease.

My opinion is that you probably have a small polyp just inside the opening of your penis. A 'polyp' is a type of wart, caused from a virus, which you may have picked up long ago. You should see a doctor and have your penis checked out. Until then, please do not have sex. I am sure that your problem can be sorted out pretty quickly.

A. Well, the simple process of marrying her is certainly not going to turn her into some sort of 'hottie-hottie sex bomb'. But if you are a man who is good at love play and who takes his time, and who knows all about romance and cuddling, and who can stimulate the clitoris for half an hour or more without giving up - well, there is a good chance that you can make this woman much more interested in having sex with you.

If she is really very uninterested in sex at the moment, then it would be a good plan to pay for her to have some sessions with an expert counsellor. I would say that that is particularly important if she has difficulty climaxing. I wish you both well.,P. Make sure that the two of you keep talking to each other about what you both want to achieve in bed. Silence will solve nothing!

A. In men, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) usually produce some symptoms. If you have none, then an STI is unlikely, though it is still possible.

However, if you have any symptoms relating to your genitals, such as pain when you pass urine, a discharge on the pants, or a lump or raw place, then the chances of an STI are very high. In any case, I would advise you to have a medical check-up, preferably before you have sex with your wife. And if you have already had sex with your spouse, then she should also have a genital check-up as well. It may be difficult to arrange this without causing a fuss.