As technology advances, it becomes more invasive in our lives, limiting privacy at the expense of speed and efficient communication. Any information in cyberspace even if it is classified as 'private', is public knowledge with emerging technology that overrides sensitive information and breaks into codes and passwords.

Crystal, a 15-year-old high school student, was very shocked to read this email message recently.

'Cris baby, a long time me a check you out and every day my body burn for yu ... me jus want to ... yu and give yu some agony that yu will neva forget ... if yu wait at the bus stop outside yu school on Friday I will meet yu ... I will be wearing a red shirt with Gucci on the front ... I am quite handsome and I know yu will fall for me ... I have yu under wraps so yu cannot hide ... let me hear from yu sweetest ...'

Luckily, Crystal has a good relationship with her mother and father, although both are not living together. As a family, they discussed the strategy and set up a 'sting' to nab the perpetrator. Crystal was encouraged to reply and agree to the meet him. That she did, but recorded the conversation on her phone. Her father took up the matter and with the help of the police, the 30-year-old uptown 'sweet boy' was charged for soliciting a minor.

Criminal offence

Several persons are not aware that soliciting sex on the Internet or other technological device is a crime punishable by law. Today, sexual communication has moved from face-to-face interaction to talking via the Internet and other hand-held devices.

If you have a computer and Internet access, some persons go online to meet persons to engage in sexual relationships. Several sites have sexually appealing material for adults, but children should be protected from inappropriate age-sensitive sexually explicit material which is never more than a few clicks away.

According to WebMD, the Internet offers access, affordability, and anonymity - a trio of factors that have made the viewing of electronic erotica an increasingly popular pastime and means of dating. This is quite unlike the relatively primitive film and print media with limited instant interaction.

Sexual Addiction

Not surprisingly, sex is the most frequently searched topic on the Internet, according to a survey conducted at the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Centre in Santa Clara, California. Some experts believe that such probing may lead to sexual addiction and other pathologies, by allowing a person to actualise fantasies that would otherwise remain in the imagination.

Others feel that the Internet simply provides a convenient vehicle for exploring one's sexuality. (WebMD Feature)

Internet users can take Internet dating so seriously that it leads to an addiction to meeting people on the Internet. As a result, regular Internet users become dependent on the anonymity of the Internet to create a mask to sexual activities for sexual gratification while on the Internet. Eventually, this addiction may deter them from entering a permanent physical relationship.

Blind dates

Dating via the Internet has become very common, but the major difference between a blind date arranged by a family member or friend and that of dating via the 'Net', is that the person on the Cyber-date may present false credentials and fake identities while being highly psychotic with a shady character. Anonymity is one of the critical factors of Internet dating and this presents a risk for daters because of the lack of authentic information on the partner.

The technology that the Internet offers does not allow it to screen its users.

Beware!

Here is a typical letter sent out by an Internet scammer:

Dear ...

It is my greatest joy to have found you on the Internet. I am so glad that I was so moved to try dating via the Net that night. You have provided new meaning in my life and I look forward to our future together. I have been searching for eternal happiness and I am so glad I found you as you have given me reason to continue living. I love you with all my heart and I have never found love like this before.

I think about you every minute. I am committing the rest of my life to you and I know that we will make an excellent couple. My love for you is endless; there is no bottom or top. I will go to the ends of the earth to make you happy. My family has heard so much about and they are looking forward to meeting you and welcoming you to the family. I promise to be the best husband you could ever have. I never knew I could love again since my wife died and it's like the Lord provided you for me.

Lovingly Yours

- Eric

The irony of this situation is that Eric had sent out dozens of these letters and he is hoping to make a move on the women so thrilled with his words, will be willing to go farther into solidifying the relationship. Extra care should be taken if the cyber-partner is overseas and will convince the 'love of his life' to make a visit. Several women have gone to foreign countries and have been held captive and unable to return home.

Benefits of Internet dating

On the other hand, there are benefits of Internet dating. The critical factor of anonymity allows the less sexually of experienced or shy persons to express themselves in a manner that allows for the exploration of sex in a secure environment (Hamman, 1996).

Access to cybersex is viewed as another form of safe sex with no risk of pregnancy or contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

Other benefits of Internet sex include:

Rejuvenation of a couple's sex life by trying something different, and help to guide their partners to know what stimulates them as they explore their fantasies.

Adding spice to long distance relationships and may be a forerunner to foreplay if couples are to meet soon.

Providing an opportunity to check out other partners. Many who use the Internet for sex do not equate this to cheating on their partners.

Successful online dating tips

While enjoying the intrigue of Internet dating, you should exercise some caution prior to meeting your date who is still a 'stranger', in person.

Precaution is better than the need for correcting a situation that may go sour or violent. Here are some successful dating tips on dating safety offered by Gaynor Borade on Buzzle.com.

1. Do not divulge your residential address for a formal pick-up when meeting someone through an online forum for the first time. Consider sharing sensitive information only if both of you hit it off.

2. Meet in a public place since you do not know the person very well.

It is a good idea to be in an environment with people nearby. You may want to go out with a group of friends. Plan ahead with friends or a double date to create a comfort zone.

3. Share expenses as much as possible as this reduces the expectation for you to let off sexual favours as a means of payback. There is no telling what the other person may have in mind as far as 'payback' is concerned. It is better to pay half the bill and not feel any obligation at all.

4. Watch your intake of alcohol on your first date. It is best to avoid alcohol completely as it is known to hamper judgement and lessen inhibition. Do not leave your drink open while you dance or pay a visit to the bathroom. Keenly watch your partner's actions while you are together.

5. Arrange your own transportation. This would avoid a terrible 'left in the lurch' situation. It pays well to ensure that the vehicle has enough gas. You should never let your guard down and assume that a man or woman is safe by claim. Do not let technology get the better of you. Follow your instincts and if you are unsure about something, follow your gut feelings and play it safe.

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