We have been to bed twice so far and it was all fine. He was gentle and considerate. But now he has been telling me that what he wants to do is make sex even more fun. I asked him what he meant and he said that he gets a big thrill from bondage.

I was not too clear about what that involved, so I requested further information. He explained that he wanted me to tie him up before sex. And then he said that later on, he would do the same to me.

He took me to his home and when we got to the master bedroom, I could see that there were a couple of velvet ropes under the bed. There were also little velvet handcuffs on the four bedposts.

He wanted me to tie him up with these things immediately and to have sex with him while he was lying on his back, trussed up on the bed. In fact, he took off his clothes and lay down and said: "Go ahead: tie me to the bedposts."

But I was not sure about this. So I said that I had an appointment with a girlfriend downtown and that I would have to go right away.

Unfortunately, he is still pressing me to go in for this 'tying-up' business. He says that if I really loved him, I would do it. What do you think, Doc?

A. Well, that bondage thing is quite common. It is far more frequently done by men than women.

Most of the men who are into bondage say that they like being tied up themselves before having sex. But they also like the idea of tying a woman to the bedposts and then having sex with her.

Some psychologists think that certain men get turned on by bondage because when they were children, they got a kind of sexual thrill about being 'restrained' in some way - for instance, if they were strapped into a stroller or buggy. But there is no concrete proof of this. And it does not explain why they like tying up their partners.

To be fair to these devotees of bondage, I must say that most of them practise their sexual habit in a perfectly harmless way with their wives or girlfriends.

However, I must warn you that there is a tiny minority of bondage fetishists (as they are called) who are also into sadism - in other words, the infliction of pain for sexual purposes.

So there have been occasions (admittedly, quite rare ones), where a man has tied up a woman and then done her serious physical harm. I would not like this to happen to you!

Therefore, I would like you to consider the fact that you do NOT know this man very well yet. You cannot be certain that he does not mean to harm you. If his house is far away from other dwellings, you would not be able to call for help.

Therefore, I do not think that you should get involved in this bondage business. Maybe there might be time for it in the future when you both know each other better and have perhaps established that you love each other.

At that time, it would do no harm for you to agree to handcuff him before making love to him. But until you are sure that you can trust him absolutely, I do NOT think you should let him tie you up in any way.

One final point: he says he has had a vasectomy. That may well be so. However, I must warn you that some men tell women that story when in fact it is NOT true. So please take care.

A. Well, influenza (flu) is spread in two main ways. These are:

Infected people cough or sneeze or breathe over other folks, and thus give them the germ;

Infected people touch their own noses or mouths, and thus get the germ on their hands; they then put their hands on things like doorknobs or computer keyboards or handrails. The germs are left on the object, and a few minutes later you come along and touch it!

So if you touch an object which is contaminated by the viruses, you will get them on your fingers. How does the virus then get into your body?

That is quite simple. Research has shown that most of us touch our mouths or noses or eyes every few minutes. If you do that, and you have the virus on the fingers, it will seize the chance to enter your mouth, nose or eyes.

So the nurse you have talked to is quite right. If there is flu in your area, you should try to avoid touching objects which are touched by other people. Also, wash your hands regularly and try to avoid touching your nose or mouth or eye with your fingers.

A. No, this is just an old story. If you are going to go on having sex, please use proper contraception.

A. The word 'menopause' means 'stopping of the menses'. As you have noticed, men do not have periods. Therefore, we do not have a menopause.

So the 'male menopause' is largely a myth. In middle age, we do not experience a sudden fall in hormone levels as women do.

However, there are men who have some form of psychological crisis in midlife. If that happens to you, see a doc.

A. No. You should call or email both of these ladies, telling them that they MUST get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI) immediately.

You do not say if you are married or if you have a partner. But if so, she should be tested too. Please do NOT have sex until you have been thoroughly treated.

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