Grant-Kitson

Walking away from your job is far from the only option to be exercised when faced with abuse.

If the abusive person is your manager, the abuse is not always intentional. For example, some managers believe that issuing harsh treatment to employees is an acceptable way to exercise their powers, and others perceive, perhaps from past experience, that good management is about showing strength, which they interpret in an abusive way.

If the abusive person is your peer, the abuse may be intentional, the aim being to get you so frustrated that you resign.

Facing peer abuse involves thinking before you act. Tell yourself that you will not allow anyone to disturb your peace of mind. Remind yourself of your life goals and let no one cause you to act in a manner that will harm your career.

Whatever and whoever is the source of the abuse, here are your options:

Be conscientious and committed to your job. Go the extra mile and be prepared for unexpected demands the manager may place on you. When you act with professionalism, the manager will have difficulty abusing you.

Get to know your boss and allow him/her to know you. Many misconceptions and behavioural issues can be resolved when people understand each other.

Let your boss look good. Congratulate your boss in public and do things that will put him/her in the spotlight. People have difficulty abusing people who hold them in high regard and cause others to do the same.

Give your manager a second chance. If he/she sends you email that shouts, don't let it get to you and don't hold a grudge. He/she was probably in a bad mood at the time and moods change.

Find an appropriate time to talk about the situation. Tell him/her that you want to do a good job but that you find it difficult as others may not respect you based on his/her behaviour towards you. Ask for his/her help in allowing you to perform at your very best.

Assess your job situation and ask yourself, "Is it worth the hassle for me to subject myself to this constant abuse?"

If your self-esteem and prospects for upward mobility are negatively affected, it may be best to seek work with another company.

There are many enriching and respectful workplaces. Life is too short to settle with a situation that shows no sign of improvement. Cut your losses and move on!

Patricia Grant-Kitson is a human resource management and training consultant.

patriciaktsn@yahoo.com