Q Doctor, I am a married woman and I have always thought that my marriage was pretty happy. But now it is threatened by sexual fantasies.

My husband was the first man I had ever slept with, and I have been totally faithful to him through all the years of our union.

Even when he is away on business and guys try to 'give me the eye', I ignore them.

But recently, something rather odd has been happening. About a year ago, I became very interested in a famous sportsman, even though I have never met him. Something about his face and his physique really appealed to me. I always read everything that is written about him.

One night during foreplay with my husband, I started to imagine that it was the handsome 'Mr X'.

This had a remarkable effect on me, because I had an orgasm more quickly than I usually do. I think I had multiple orgasm. For me, that was very unusual.

My husband was most impressed, and called me his 'new sex bomb'. But he did not realise that it was the secret fantasy that had turned me on.

Since then, I have been using this fantasy time and time again. I seem to need it to help me climax.

I am ashamed to admit this, doctor, but whenever I have sex with my husband, I think about that man. There is really no question that doing this helps me to orgasm many times. Before I had the fantasy, I found it quite difficult to.

So what do I do now? Should I spend the rest of my life fantasising about this guy?

A The one thing you should not do is to try and make any contact with this sportsman. Attempts to turn sexual fantasies into reality are very dangerous!

It is important that you realise that you are not alone in fantasising during sex.

Research has shown that around 55 per cent of married women do fantasise about men who are not their husbands. Popular choices for these sex fantasies include:

Film stars

Sportsmen

Singers

TV personalities.

Very often, women find themselves dreaming during intercourse about some man who lives down the road, or whom they met some place during the day.

Books have been written about women's sexual fantasies. And it is well known that fantasy can help a woman have an orgasm. Sexologists say there is really no harm in such fantasy - provided you do not let it get out of hand.

I am afraid that in your case, it is out of hand. You have reached the stage where you think about this sportsman every time you make love with your husband.

It sounds like you cannot have an orgasm unless you start dreaming about him.

So what should you do about this situation? To start with, I urge you to have a few sessions with a good counsellor. That can help you to put your feelings about this sportsman into perspective.

It is probable that the counsellor will suggest that you develop other sexual fantasies which are not so overwhelming. For instance, you may instructed to think about a whole series of young and lusty sportsmen, some of them completely imaginary, instead of the one man who you have been focusing on.

My own advice to you is to start talking to your husband about using sexual fantasies in bed. Do not tell him about your current obsession! But instead, ask him if there are things that really turn him on, and that he would like you to talk about in bed. And tell him about ideas that you find exciting.

By doing this, you can develop mutual fantasies which you can use together. You will find that they too help you to have an orgasm. And they will gradually drive out this obsessive fantasy about the sportsman which at the moment seems to be taking over your life.

QI am a 26-year-old married man. I love my wife, but I am troubled by the fact that when I was 16, I was 'seduced' by a man I met in a bar in Miami.

It was a horrible experience. Do you think I should tell my wife about it?

A No, I do not. But I think you should 'get it off your chest' by talking to some older, experienced professional about it.

You could go to a therapist, or a minister of religion, or a counsellor, or a doctor. But one way or another, you must let these bad memories and feelings out.

It is not good to have them bottled up inside as you have.

Q Doctor, I would like to go on hormone replacement therapy (HRT), to help my sex life.

But I have difficulty swallowing tablets. Is there any other way of taking it?

ACertainly. I cannot promise you that HRT will give you a great sex life, but it does help a lot of women - particularly those who have developed vaginal dryness in their 40s or 50s.

Besides tablets, it is possible to take HRT in the following forms:

vaginal creams and pessaries;

skin patches;

skin gels;

vaginal rings;

hormone-loaded coils;

implants under the skin (uncommon).

So you do have many choices. I wish you well.

Q Doc, how would I know if I had prostate problems? I am 43.

AProstate problems are rare in guys under 50. After that age, it becomes increasingly common.

The symptoms include:

dribbling after urination;

difficult in 'getting started' with urination;

having to rush to the bathroom to urinate;

urinating a lot at night;

a poor stream.

Anyone who has one or more of these symptoms should see a doctor to have a check-up.

Q I am thinking of going on the Pill. But what are the side-effects?

AThe Pill is a very good and effective method of contraception, which is why millions of women take it. But like any medication, it can have side-effects.

In the early months of taking the Pill, a lot of women experience one or more of the following:

headache

tenderness in the breast

slight weight gain

spotting (slight vaginal bleeding)

nausea.

But if you persist with the Pill, these symptoms will usually go away. If they do not, it is easy for your doctor to change you to another brand.

More serious side-effects of the Pill are rare. They are detailed on the leaflet which you should get with your first pack. They include strokes, heart attacks and thrombosis (clotting) in the leg veins.

But the risk of these serious events is very low, especially if you avoid smoking and if your blood pressure is normal.