Naturally, I am wondering if he no longer finds me sexually attractive. But he says that this is not so and that he loves and desires me. He maintains that the problem is simply that he is having trouble achieving the erections. Do you think this is true, Doc? Or is there any possibility that really he is in love with some other woman?

We have talked about the problem, and it does seem like that has helped. He has told me that he would like to try Viagra, or some other pill that he has been told is even better.

However, I am worried whether he might get hooked on those pills, or suffer bad effects from them. I would appreciate your advice.

A. Sorry to hear about all this. The first thing I must tell you is that I think that there is practically no chance that these problems are due to your man being in love with somebody else. Nor do I believe that he has stopped finding you desirable.

I have seen many cases like this, and nearly always the female partner fears that she is being scorned or rejected - or that there is someone else.

Almost always, this is not true. In fact, the man desperately wants to have intercourse with his partner - but is finding it really difficult to do so. I am sure you appreciate that it is a big blow to a man's self-esteem.

The best course of action now is that your man go to a doctor for a good check-up, to try and find out why he is having these difficulties in bed.

There are four main causes of this problem:

1. Psychological. This would be likely if your man has money or job anxieties, or if some family worry is affecting his mind.

2. Diabetes, which is common in Jamaica. Your man must take a urine specimen with him to the doctor to be tested for sugar. A blood test for glucose level may also be necessary.

3. The difficulty may be due to ageing of the tubes which carry blood around the body. That is common when a man is 60 or 70, but would be most unusual at age 39.

4. It could be due to a problem with hormones. That is not very likely, but the doctor might want to do a blood test for male hormone levels.

Please urge your man to have that medical consultation. Depending on what the doctor finds, he might prescribe Viagra, or one of the other two commonly used medications, which are Cialis and Levitra.

These drugs are usually very effective in giving a man good erections. You need not fret about your man being 'hooked' on them; that will not happen.

And their side-effects are usually pretty mild. They are just things like:

In addition, Cialis and Levitra may cause muscle pains or backache. But so far, I have never seen a man who has actually stopped taking any of these medications because of side-effects.

More serious ill-effects of these pills are very rare. And there are also alternative treatments which aid erections, for instance the use of 'suction pumps'.

Summing up, it is very good that you and your husband are talking about the problem. But now, he must talk to a doctor as well.

A. A few years ago, it was widely believed that after a hysterectomy, a woman's sex life would be better if the surgeon left her cervix in place inside here.

But recent research has suggested that it makes no great difference whether you have the cervix removed or not.

May I stress again that intercourse is perfectly possible after a hysterectomy! But your orgasms may feel a little different.

A. I am afraid that is wrong. Any kind of smoking is bad for the health, whether it involves cigarettes, ganja or cigars.

I must admit that I am sorry to say this, because cigars are such pleasantly aromatic things. However, cigar smokers have higher death rates from tobacco-related diseases (like cancer and heart attacks) than non-smokers do.

The risk is somewhat less if you do not inhale.

A. Most family planning experts would say No!

As a general rule, a woman who reaches the menopause before the age of 50, should use contraception for a year after her last period - just to be on the safe side.

A. You mean saturated fats, which are liable to cause heart disease and other serious troubles.

Yes, I am afraid that over half of the content of butter is saturated fat. So it is healthier to eat 'low saturate' spreads.

A. Well, if you are right, you have to be at some risk. If the secretary caught any form of sexually transmitted infection (STI), then there is a high chance that your husband could 'bring it home' to you.

But you do not know that he is being unfaithful with this young woman. May I suggest that you try to talk it over with him?

A. I am afraid it is. Gonorrhoea ('the clap) and other sexual infections can readily be transmitted by oral sex. The germs usually attack the area at the back of the throat, around the tonsils.

So I think you should stop offering young men this pleasure.