Obeah oils - File

Ouch! I had pinched myself to see if I was dreaming. Unfortunately, I wasn't. I was however, standing in front of a rickety little wooden house at the bottom of a steep hill somewhere in Portland, where a man was standing on the verandah, waving a skull around. Yes, a skull.

Now before I go any further, I must let you know that it isn't every day that I find myself in these situations. All I did was take a left turn in Manchioneal that looked like it would take me to the top of a nearby hill. I figured I would have been able to get a great view of the parish from there.

Little did I know that the road, after a while, started going down and kept going down for another couple of miles. I would have turned back, but the road was too narrow to turn the vehicle around, so I decided to ride it out. Finally, the road widened and I was faced with wide, open space.

So, slowly I started to spin the car around. It was then that, in the distance, some ways to my left, something caught my eye. I stopped the car and squinted to see better.

It looked like about a dozen colourful flags fluttering on high metal poles. The poles were placed all around a modest old house that was almost covered with green bushes. The paint was faded and the widows were broken.

STOP OR GO

Now part of me wanted to step on the accelerator, the other part was transfixed with the tiny place. I mean, it was all alone in this otherwise seemingly deserted valley. What were the flags for? Did anyone live there? These were the questions that rang in my head and caused me to step out of the car.

I know; not a bright move, but I decided to walk over to the house to see if anyone was inside.

Walking over there, I started to wonder what I was thinking. There were strange writings on the walls and numbers scribbled on the fence. They didn't seem to mean anything. As I got close, I smelled something strange. It was like lemons and perfume. I stood at the fence for a minute, looking around. There were words like 'Hebrew' and 'Zion' written on the walls and numbers that seemed to have no relationship with each other. The large trees hanging overhead almost covered the roof and it seemed like nobody had been there for ages. It was starting to creep me out.

Cow skull

But it was when the man with the long, black beard suddenly stepped in front of me that I felt my heart jump. He had come through the front door while I was looking at the numbers on the fence.

"Oy man!" he hollered in a voice that sounded like thunder. He had something in his hand and was waving it around. When I realised that it looked like the skull of a cow, I felt my knees weaken. "Can I help yuh?" he shouted.

"I ... er... ah", I mumbled.

"Hold on deh! Ah coming to yuh!" the man said, and started walking my way. I wanted to run, but figured the consequences might be worse if I did, so I stood extremely still as the man approached. He was wearing a blue and black gown with sandals. His head was wrapped with a black cloth and he was about 50 years old.

"How yuh do sah? What mi can do fi yuh today?" he asked.

I explained to the man that I had arrived in the area quite by accident and was only curious about the house.

"I see. So yuh nuh want a read up?" he asked.

"A read up?" said I.

"Yeah man! Mi can tell yuh what is what and so on and so forth," he said.

It was then that it clicked to me that the man wasn't just wearing the robe as a fashion statement. He was, I assumed, a reader/obeah man.

Without thinking about it, I blurted it out in the form of a question. The man looked me over.

"Well, if yuh want to call it dat," he said. I tried to pretend that I was comfortable with the situation by nodding slowly and doing an awkward rock from side to side. I asked the man what kind of services he offered.

"Well we can talk, since nobody else nuh deh yah yet. But yuh haffi come inside, for mi not even drink nuh cawfi tea from mawning," he said.

The thought crossed my mind that he was leading me into the house to use me as a human sacrifice in some kind of sick pagan ritual, but when I looked him over, I figured that I could outrun him, should it become necessary. So I followed him to the verandah.

Steaming coffee

He excused himself for a moment and went inside. He soon returned with a metal cup with steaming coffee and sat on a small stool. I was happy that he had left the skull inside.

"So what yuh want to know now?" he asked, after taking a sip. I asked him his name.

"Well I am Wally. Mi right name is Wallace, though," he said.

I asked Wally what the flags were for and if he enjoyed good business there in the middle of nowhere.

"Well di flag dem really symbolise earth, wind and fire and all di elements dem. It also help people to find di place likkle easier," the man said, chuckling before taking another sip of the coffee.

"Well, to be honest wid yuh, mi nuh really familiar wid dis place, for mi just come here come live around two month now. Mi used to operate inna Mobay, but mi leave and come here. Mi used to get big crowd in Mobay but nobody know seh mi deh right here yet, so it kinda slow," Wally said.

Services offered

I asked him what services he offered.

"Well everything. I can fix court case, meck yuh woman come back to yuh, meck yuh woman leave yuh, anything yuh want," he said.

"But mi nuh work inna evil tings. Mi only help people who have a pure heart. If yuh have evil heart and yuh want to hurt other people mi will know, and den mi just run yuh from mi place," Wally said.

I was about to ask something else when he cut me off. "Mi reasonable to yuh know. When some reader-man ah charge all $1000 fi a read up, mi will teck all $300," he said.

Just then, a black SUV pulled up to the fence. Wally seemed excited. It must have been a customer, so I decided to take my leave of this place. I thanked Wally the obeah man for his time and scurried back to my car and out of that strange place, with a hope to never return.

robert.lalah@gleanerjm.com

The Roving with Lalah book is available at book stores islandwide.