Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Gleaner Writer

Me dear mam:

De other day me get invite a dis function a fareign wid a heap a fareign dignitary. Well, true to de yardie me be. Me mek sure dress up. Inna de necessary spike heel. Match up han bag. An pearl bead roun me neck. Like any maddan-law weh use to line off pon top a waving gallery outta airport. Wid han a wave back an forth like any windshield wiper. An a shed yeye water fe de generation weh dis gwone up inna de plane inna de six felt hat an winter coat heavy like any wet crocus bag. An missis mam, talking bout de waving gallery ooman.

Yu see when dat deh plane door shet? De amount a houtta horder bawling weh pudding pon dat deh airport top. Sinners weep an mourn! An yu see when de plane now tek time tek time crawl off. Stop. Move off again. Pick up little speed. Gillup weh an den tek off? Everybaddy pon gallery kin ova a dutty. For a death dis now. An after dem bawl an bawl an come to. Every man git up a twang. An twang till dem ketch back a country. For a airport dem a come fram an everybaddy a yard expect fe see de changes.

Suh me dear mam, de dress de waving gallery people dem used to dress up was serious bisniss. For a airport dem a go. Well a me now. Me dress up extra special because a dignitary me did a go mongst. Well anyway, me ketch eena de room an siddung up a front weh me coulda hear de speaka.

An me dear mam, bout 10 minutes after de man start talk me fine meself a quint an a raise me eyebrow extra hard. Like me kine a naw focus like. Den bout 10 more minute inna de white man speech, me dis feel two sudden jerk. Lef an right. An realize quick seh a me neck. Decide fe tek disadvantage a me two shet yeye. An a tek me head tun sling shat. Well, since me did hegs up meself an siddung up a front, a deh suh now me neva know weh fe do wid meself for everybaddy did a watch me. Fass asleep inna de people dem function.

Suh after me dropsy in an dropsy out a de speech weh neva hab nuh taste, me gi de biggest round of applause when him seh him done. For God know. Him shoulda did done long time. Well when me ketch home me seh me haffi beg all teacha weh stan up in front a people pickney. Fe please teach wid excitement. Nuh badda wid de Anancy rope long chat alone. Spice up de lesson an mek de pickney dem enjoy fe come a class.

An so, by de same token, me sincere congratulation to all dem teacha a yard weh do just dat an mek de pickney dem do extraordinarily wonderful inna dem CXC exam de other day..

For missis, a wouldn't tell yu a lie how me feel good seh me Teacher a de Year sister Joan Davis-Williams pickney dem weh she teach an sen up fe CXC from Ardenne High School get 16 distinction an four credit. Suh me dear mam, anybaddy weh stan up wid a microphone in front a people-fram teacha to parson to politician to guest speaka-must learn fe hab sympathy pon de smady dem weh dem expect fe pay attention. Otherwise, ask smady fe hide an plug out de mike.

Tek care.

Dr Jennifer Keane-Dawes has been appointed Interim Dean of the School of Graduate Studies at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore, a constituent institution of the University of Maryland System. Send your email to: jkd876@yahoo.com.