I have tried numerous things, such as foreplay, new positions, new places, dirty talk, music during intercourse, sex toys, 'going commando' (only once), fingering and even cunnilingus. But nothing seems to work.

It is so bad that sometimes after 15 minutes of intercourse she gets bored and tells me to stop!

My girlfriend often says that it's her fault. But I know that something is wrong with me because she told me long ago that she had orgasms in her previous relationships.

Sometimes that particular thought gets to me so much that I have nightmares about other men satisfying her - even though I know and trust her not to cheat on me.

I have often heard from my friends the suggestion that the reason why she is unable to fully enjoy intercourse with me is because we are both slightly overweight. But I doubt that exercise alone can fix my situation.

Doctor, I am aware that sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. But to me it is vital, because I want to be able to satisfy her emotionally as well as physically. Please tell me what to do.

A: I am sorry to hear about all this distress. Obviously, you have been fretting a great deal.

Now, what strikes me very forcibly is this. You say that when she is with you, your lady 'has never had an orgasm during intercourse'.

So you are expecting her to discharge during intercourse itself. But are you aware that most women find it real difficult to climax during intercourse itself, unless the clitoris is being stimulated effectively?

This fact is surprising to a lot of guys. A lot of them have read foolish porno stories in which the heroines have climaxes whenever anybody penetrates them. This is certainly not the case in real life!

In fact, sex survey after sex survey in various countries has shown that:

Most women cannot discharge unless the clitoris is being rubbed

Most female orgasms occur as a result of 'love play,' rather than intercourse

When a woman does discharge during intercourse itself, it is usually because there is a lot of friction on her clitoris.

So I would say that when you want your girl friend to discharge during intercourse itself, you should take care to rub herclitoris with your fingertips throughout pretty well the entire act of coitus.

You may say that this is 'awkward.' Getting a hand in between the two of you during intercourse is certainly not all that easy, especially if (as you say) both of you are a little overweight.

One simple way around this is to make love to your girlfriend from behind. If you do this, you can easily 'reach round' - so that the tips of your first two fingers can reach her clitoris. By the way, use plenty lubricant.

Now, can I also say that I find it surprising that you do not state whether she has orgasms at other times - like when you are just petting or 'fooling around' together. I am guessing that she does not.

If that is the case, this strongly suggests that the two of you need some counselling together. She requires advice about how to relax, 'let go,' and enjoy orgasms. And I would say that YOU need advice about your technique of clitoral stimulation. The counsellor may also feel that you are putting too much pressure on your girlfriend to 'perform'. Good luck.

A: I do not know what is wrong with you, but I do think you should take the pills which your doc prescribed. If the pain responds well to them, then that would help her in making a diagnosis.

But if the cramps do not respond well to the pills, then maybe you should consult a specialist.

A: The 'CAT' method has nothing to do with feline animals. The letters just stand for 'Coitally Adjusted Technique.'

The idea is that the guy will make love to his partner while lying much higher up on her body than usual. The objective of this is to get his pubic bone to rub hard against her clitoris during intercourse.

For a couple who are both of average height, this means that the man's face has to be around nine inches (about 23 centimetres) nearer the top of the bed than hers. So his chin will be roughly on a level with the top of her head. I cannot say that the CAT position works miracles. But it does give some women greater satisfaction. I hope you enjoy trying it.

A: Well, I think that anyone who has had herpes has a duty to tell their sexual partner about it. After all, you might infect this guy. It is certainly possible to have a baby after catching herpes. But the important thing is to protect the child from catching the virus.

I think your best move now would be to go and see the doc who is prescribing your pills and discuss your obstetric future with her. I wish you well.

A: Very likely. However, there are several other sex infections which it could be. Two of them are called 'chancroid' (soft chancre), and 'granuloma inguinale'.

The important thing to realise is that syphilis and other serious genital infections do NOT usually cure themselves. So even though the 'raw place' has gone away at the moment, you must see a doc this week for tests. Meantime, absolutely NO sex, please.