Dear Counsellor:

I am thinking of getting married but I am concerned about what my life would be like. My fiancé is a professional and I am at college. I am planning to get married when I finish college.

- April

Dear April:

Marriage is a commitment between two persons and hopefully it should be for a lifetime. Marriage is good as it gives a sense of security and togetherness.

The vows should be taken seriously as life is about these vows. In life, there are good times and bad times, health and sickness or riches and poverty. One of marriage's challenges is that individuals have different strengths and weaknesses, which affect their ability to cope with the struggles of life.

You have to accept the fact that humans are imperfect beings and there will always be conflicts and disputes. In the early years of marriage, there are usually good times with lots of enthusiasm and fantasy. As the years go by, life become routine and mundane. You will need to work on the marriage to keep romance alive and sex fun.

Premarital counselling is needed for all couples and each couple needs to have support from older couples. In marriage, there is an urgent need for tolerance, forgiveness and non-judgmental attitude. For the longevity of marriage, each partner needs to be committed to the relationship.

Having a life-partner and companion is good for the mental well-being of the couple. It is nice to have a close friend to talk with and to share with. Human beings need companionship, care and affection. Each partner needs to be cherished and cared.

If there are conflicts and disputes, seek help from your pastor or a professional. It is okay to ask for help and support from others in whom we trust and have confidence.

Dear Counsellor:

I have been depressed since childhood. I have no goal, no focus and I am a loner.

- Angela

Dear Angela:

Chronic depression is a common condition so you are not alone in the struggle. Some individuals develop depression in childhood and don't achieve as much as they could.

Childhood depression causes school failure, aggressive behaviour and poor social skills. Depression is treated with medication and counselling. It is good to see a psychiatrist, who can prescribe medication and conduct counselling.

Many individuals tend to have negative thoughts and are downbeat about life. We need to assess our lives and give thanks for our many blessings and miracles. Giving thanks to God is a powerful antidepressant. We need to celebrate our small successes and let God take control of our lives. Spirituality is important.

There will always be setbacks and failures but we need to rise above them. Our thoughts affect our behaviour and vice versa. We, therefore, need to train our thoughts to be positive and have high expectations of God's promises.

Your condition can improve over time, so you should seek professional help.