Q. I am a 17-year-old virgin. I am thinking of letting my loving boyfriend have sex with me. But my best friend has told me that the first occasion is terribly painful. This has really frightened me. She says that girls scream and shout when they are being penetrated for the first time. Is this true?She also claims that one can lose about a gallon of blood. I do not know where she gets this information from, because I suspect that she is probably still a virgin too. I wouldn't want to go ahead if there is to be all this pain and bleeding. Please inform me of the facts.
A. Your friend is exaggerating somewhat. As far as bleeding is concerned, most young women do lose a few spots of blood when the hymen (the membrane which is still sometimes known as 'the virgin's veil') breaks.
However, if you have already broken the hymen by inserting tampons, there will be no bleeding at all. Similarly, if the hymen has already been broken by petting or by masturbation, it will not bleed at first intercourse.
The idea that a girl would lose a gallon of blood when she gives up her virginity is just foolishness. That amount would kill her.
Most women do experience slight pain when they are first penetrated by a guy. Some feel no pain at all. Very few do report quite severe pain, especially if they were nervous and tightened up in a sort of 'muscle contraction'.
Frankly, what I must tell you is that many young women say that their main feeling after losing their virginity was sheer DISAPPOINTMENT! Very often, the first time is not what they expected at all, and the entire experience is a rather messy muddle - especially if the boy doesn't know what he is doing.
Finally, if you decide to go ahead, practise safe sex. It would not be a good idea to get pregnant at your age. And it would not be a good idea to catch a sexually transmitted infection either.
Q. My girlfriend has hypothyroidism. She was diagnosed with the condition a few years ago. I have been trying to get her pregnant for months now, but it has not happened. Could hypothyroidism be the reason?A. As I'm sure you know, hypothyroidism means 'underactivity of the thyroid gland'. A lot of females have this.
The condition is treated with hormone pills and these usually keep the person in excellent health. So if your girlfriend has been taking her tablets, the hypothyroidism probably is NOT affecting her fertility.
But clearly, it is time that you both went to a doc to have your fertility assessed.
Q. I am a social worker in New York City and I totally disagree with the advice you gave to a young virgin couple who were thinking of having sex. You told them that there is no need to go to a doctor first. It should be highly recommended that virgins take an HIV test before having their first sexual intercourse. I have seen quite a few children early 1990s who are now teenagers, and were born HIV-positive.
Some of their parents did not tell their kids that they are HIV-positive. I explained to my teenage daughter recently that just because a person is a virgin, that does not mean that this person does not have HIV.
A. I think that as far as New York City is concerned, you have a good point. HIV rates are so high in NYC that there is indeed a case for teenagers taking a blood test before they start having sex.
In most parts of Jamaica, rates of HIV are much lower than they are in New York. However, if a teenager wants to be very careful, he or she could indeed go to a doc and request a blood test for HIV.
Q. I am a young woman and I have a concern regarding my breasts. I am not happy about their size. So I would like to increase them without doing surgery. I have seen advertisements for tablets that would increase the size of the breasts. I would like to know if these work. In fact, is there any way one can increase the size of the bosom without going under the knife?A. I have talked to many gynaecologists about tablets which are claimed to increase the size of the bust. They all say that there is no way that these things could work.
It is possible to increase the size of the muscle BEHIND the breast by doing special exercises, but that will not make the actual breast bigger. So really, there is no way of making the breasts bigger, aside from plastic surgery.
Q. I am 22 years old and want to get my girlfriend pregnant. I have unsuccessfully tried many times. I am frustrated and she knows this. Is there something wrong with either of us? We both have a BSc, and we want to have the baby before we move on to complete higher studies in the years to come.A. If you have tried for six months without any luck, it is likely that one of you has a problem. Why not see a doc and ask him to arrange a 'sperm count' exam for you? If this test reports normal, your girlfriend could also see the doc and have tests. I wish you well.
Q. Why doesn't my period come? I am 21 and I haven't seen my menses for two months. I am feeling weary, frustrated, bloated. I am sure I am not pregnant. Please give me your advice.A. You should do a pregnancy test. They are fairly cheap and they do clarify the situation immediately.
Other possible causes of absent periods are anaemia (weak blood), stress and polycystic ovary syndrome. You need to see a doc to find out if any of these apply to you.
Q. I don't like meat. Is it absolutely necessary to eat it, as my mother claims?A. No, it isn't. In fact, there is some scientific evidence that vegetarians are healthier than meat eaters. However, if you don't eat meat, you must be careful to get enough iron from other sources. Otherwise, you are liable to become anaemic. That is particularly likely if you are a girl.
Q. I am an 18-year-old man and I still don't seem to have reached puberty. I have no facial or body hair, and no interest in sex.A. Something has gone very wrong with your hormones. Ask a doc to send you to see an endocrinologist (gland specialist) at the University Hospital. Do not delay.
Email questions to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com; send faxes to 922-6223, attention: Doctor's Advice, or post to Doctor's Advice, The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.
