Petrina Francis, Staff Reporter
Initiating sex is a no-no for some women who still believe it's the man's responsibility to make the first move and take them to dreamland.
But according to sex therapist, Dr Sidney McGill, this approach could be dangerous.
McGill tells Saturday Life that if the man always makes the first move, the relationship will become monotonous and boring.
More testosterone
He says men have more testosterone and tend to initiate more, because they have stronger urges. Women, on the other hand, are sometimes passive, expecting to be wooed and seduced, largely because of sociological influences.
"A lot of men yearn for their partners to be more proactive and initiate sex. They would like to be turned on by a woman," McGill tells Saturday Life.
McGill says both partners are equally responsible for attaining orgasm. He says if this is done, each partner would be less pressured to satisfy the other.
Initiating love play
McGill notes that women should go against the grain, initiating love play more often.
Leroy Simmondssays he loves when a woman takes charge.
"Yeah, man! I love when she even wakes me out of my sleep," the 27-year-old says with a big smile.
He says he was forced to break up with a woman he was seeing because he was fed up of having to make the first move.
But Simmonds says it could be detrimental at times, if his woman initiates.
"Sometimes, I go on the road and buss a little piece (have sex with another woman), so I really don't want her to initiate at that time because I am usually very tired," he says.
Name changed upon request
petrina.francis@gleanerjm.com
Initiating sex with a man
Embrace your sexuality. It is natural for women to enjoy sex just as much as men. Consider yourself a sexual being, and act on the urges you feel. Initiate sex with your man at least half of the time you're in the mood. Be fearless. Men and women are equally afraid of rejection. Men enjoy having the moves put on them from time to time, and it is unlikely that you will meet with much resistance. Take solace in that fact and let it fuel your confidence. Keep it simple. You don't have to be Pamela Anderson to initiate sex with your man. He will appreciate a come-hither stare and a good kiss just as much as a racy outfit and a lap dance, especially if you rarely make the first move. So take a small step outside your comfort zone, and the benefits will be great. Go with the flow. Just because you initiate the encounter doesn't mean you have to dominate the whole experience. Make the first move to let your man know that you are interested. Then allow nature to take its course. Enjoy your new skill. If you initiate sex with your man occasionally, your sexual confidence will grow, adding a new spark to your sex life.Source: ehow.com
Initiating sex with a woman
Find time to be alone with your partner. Consider a romantic dinner (or just a regular dinner) and some quality, quiet time together. Turn off the TV. Men may be able to get into the mood with the game blaring in the background, but many women find this to be a major turn-off. Talk to the woman. Initiate some conversation before you make your big move. Touch her hair or stroke her cheek. Don't go right for the breasts. Kiss her long and slow, like you mean it. And keep your hands in a neutral area (the back or the shoulders, for example). Whisper something sweet or sexy in her ear, like how good she looks or smells or tastes. Avoid anything too vulgar - for now. Try some light petting. Again, go slow and avoid the temptation to tear off her shirt. Ask the woman if she wants to go upstairs/outside/in the shower - wherever you had a romantic rendezvous planned. Chances are, if you took the time and didn't rush her, she'll say yes.
