My eight-year-old son is hyperactive, disruptive and aggressive at school. His teacher says that he lacks focus, is easily distracted and wastes time with the other children. The school is thinking of asking me to take him to another academic institution.
- Marilyn
Dear Marilyn:
Your son seems to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. However, he needs to be assessed to arrive at the specific diagnosis.
Many children with this condition are depressed because they cannot control themselves and are beaten or made to feel ashamed or discouraged. Sometimes, the children have low self-esteem and poor self-image.
Counsel children
We, therefore, need to counsel these children as well as prescribe medication. Medication improves attention and reduces hyperactivity and distractibility. He'll be able to sit in his seat at school. The teacher needs to put him in her view so she can prompt him to behave.
Extra-curricular activities are important. Football, swimming and dancing will help to use up some of his energy. On the weekend, you should take him to the park where he can run around and enjoy nature. Tell him he is special and not at fault for his condition. The therapist should speak with the teacher about how she can manage him in the classroom.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a common condition and we all have to learn to deal with it.
Sex-abuse memories
Dear Counsellor:
When I was younger, a relative used to have sex with me. I didn't tell anyone. When we moved house, the episodes stopped. I am 30 years old and I'm having mental health issues. I get depressed and suicidal and feel angry all the time.
What's wrong with me?
- MelanieDear Melanie:
There is hope for you - therapy. You need to see a therapist to look at the issues and to move on with your life.
Unfortunately, sexual abuse is a common problem. Victims tend to be angry, feeling ashamed and humiliated. Victims also feel embarrassed and degraded. These feelings are explored in therapy. Many individuals have low self-esteem and poor self-image.
Record feelings
Keep a journal daily to write down your feelings and activities. Sometimes current issues bring back memories of the past. Memories are always with us, even though we might use various mechanisms to keep them out of consciousness.
Journalling is helpful as you get to review your memories and put closure to certain issues. During your review, you will find triggers that bring on feelings of shame or humiliation. Remember that you were not in the wrong, it was your relative.
Some people write stories or poems or songs about their experiences. These stories or poems don't have to be published. They, however, enable you to vent.
In therapy, you might find that you become tearful as you grieve. Crying is good as it helps resolve grief.
Phone Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602 or 791-1778; or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.
