Dear Counsellor:

I have a great difficulty getting a good night's rest. I have problems falling asleep and wake up frequently during the night. Someday, I feel very stressed and have various aches and pains.

- Veronica

Dear Veronica:

Stress should be considered as a part of life and we have to devise techniques to live with the stress. We can't avoid stress and we don't want to be overwhelmed by the stressors of daily living.

Stress can interfere with your sleep pattern and cause insomnia. Accepting that life is about stressors and that sometimes life is really challenging will go a long way in coping.

Your day is divided into sleep time, work time, home and entertainment. Sleep time should be regularised and be a routine. Plan to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up the same time in the morning.

Make your bedroom comfortable and sleep-friendly. Have nice pillows and soft sheets. The bedroom walls should be painted in a soothing colour. Have soft music and a book of positive messages. Sometimes, you might need to empty your thoughts in a journal to give your mind rest. Make a list of things to do the next day and arrange your clothing. Eat breakfast and take your nutritional supplements.

In your day at work, you should try to prioritise and delegate as well as supervise what is being done in your sphere of influence. Whenever you complete a task, you should congratulate yourself. You need to celebrate small successes and maintain control of your emotions. Sometimes, we get emotional about issues and so lose focus and direction. Live in the here and now. The past and the future will take care of themselves.

Dear Counsellor:

I am taking care of my elderly mother and I find it to be quite challenging. My siblings help sometimes but the burden is left with me. I am thinking of putting my mother in a geriatric facility so that I can cope better.

- Marlene

Dear Marlene:

Taking care of others is a routine that affects us all. It can be challenging and stressful. As we take care of our loved ones, we need to keep spiritual and positive. Sometimes we have to make decisions that affect ourselves and our family members.

Caring for the elderly should be a joint issue between siblings. Siblings should come together to provide the money and the help that is needed. I would suggest you have a family meeting and discuss the care of your mother. A nursing home is an option but some senior citizens prefer to live at home. A caregiver can be employed to take care of your mother in your home. You need to make your mother comfortable and cheerful.

Life is full of challenges, so you need to take care of yourself. Attend to your needs.