Q. I am having a problem with my son and his schoolwork. I need your advice as to what to do.

Whenever he gets his work at school, two or three days later, he doesn't seem to remember what to do. I help him with his workduring the days whenever he comes from school, but it is not working. If he sees a math work that says 1+2 and he does it and gets it right, and then sees 2+1 and that seems like a different math to him. He is in grade four. He'ssupposed to take the government grade-four test but it doesn't make sense because after practice nothing is retained in his brain. I need to know what to do. Please reply with your advice.

A. The good thing is your son is going to school and once he is doing this, he will have an opportunity to learn. You did not say how old he was. If he is about 10 or older and not doing well in reading and writing at the grade- four level, he needs to be tested right away so that a psychologist can tell you why he is not doing well in his schoolwork. The psychologist will also test him to see if he has any social or emotional problems that is causing him not to do well. The results of the grade- four national test will help you to know where his academic skills are at present.There are plans in place to help him if he does not do well. As soon as you get the results, speak with the principal of the school and follow what they tell you to ensure that he gets the best help possible.

Q. My 10-year-old daughter is already pressured into believing that she does not have the ideal body. She talks about modelling all the time. She is regularly dieting and I am worried. Her father and I and her little brother are slender but both my parents are chubby, so she must have gotten their genes. How can I tell her that I love her more than I do? I tell her daily.

A. Your daughter seems to have been affected by the media and so many other social factors. Ask your paediatrician to speak with her about her physical health and the dangers of dieting, especially at her age. Ensure that you do not share 'fat' jokes around her as this may affect her already fragile sense of esteem. Share with her that there are models who are not thin, they are usually referrred to as 'full-figured models'. If you can, get examples of these models from the Internet or magazines and share with her that she does not have to be thin to be a model. Continue to remind her that you are very concerned about her physical and emotional health. Remind all family members to be positive around her regarding her size.

Q. Why is it that parents do not remember that they made mistakes? I left classes over the Easter break to visit a friend for a day and my parents are still talking about it. They are blaming my friends, but I wanted to go, no one forced me. I was punished and I accepted my punishment. Why can't they stop? My parents read your column. I hope they read it when you answer me.

A. Your parents were so worried about you that they are probably still dealing with the fact that you did something that was quite unlike you. Adults do need to ensure that children feel that when they make a mistake it will not be talked about forever. As adults, we must build confidence by looking at how we can help children improve when they make mistakes. Remember that the distress that your parents experienced when they did not know where you were really made them very worried. Try to be on your best behaviour and talk with your parents about your plans and let them know that you love them and that you hope they can stop talking about the issue as you will be trying to be a better person.

Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviouralproblems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.immense joy.