Dear Counsellor:

I get depressed at Christmas time. Most of my family are overseas and, at Christmas, I feel lonely. I don't buy a lot of presents because I don't have the money.

- Maureen

Dear Maureen:

The Yuletide season affects people differently - some are happy, while others are stressed and depressed. The many activities of Christmas cause severe stress for some persons. You need to make a budget each year and source gifts at cheap prices. Shop early when stuff are up for sale.

Depression is common at Christmas. We remember loved ones or friends who have died and we grieve the loss. Christmas is seen as a time for family, so if your relatives are overseas, you would feel lonely. Telephone, email or write letters to your loved ones overseas. Some individuals suffer from seasonal affective disorder and so when the days are shorter and darker, they get depressed.

Though depression causes people to be negative and pessimistic, hope is not lost - it can be treated with medication and counselling. You need to think about all the things that are going well for you and give thanks to God. Research shows that assuming an attitude of thankfulness can lift burdens from one's shoulders.

Dear Counsellor:

I recently lost my brother and I am feeling very depressed. He was shot and killed. I cannot sleep at nights and I keep dreaming about him.

- Molly

Dear Molly:

Grieving is painful and distressing. Many individuals go into denial to help themselves cope, carrying on as usual and dealing with the emotions later. Death is a certainty for us all and many times we cannot understand it. It is indeed a painful and difficult issue.

Talk to your family and friends about the issue, as they will be grieving as well. If you believe you need to see a therapist, schedule an appointment as soon as possible.

Death generally makes persons angry and depressed. All these emotions will vary with time. Learn to deal with your anger before you become verbally or physically aggressive towards others. Being abusive will not bring back your brother and you may be ruining a good relationship.

When you get angry, think of the consequences of your actions - think before you speak. Count to 10 before you speak or act. Take deep breaths to distract you for a moment. Words do hurt so choose your words wisely.