Oxy Moron, Contributor

For a week, I agonised over who should get the prestigious award, Sunday Sauce Person of The Year, because there are so many persons worthy of it.

A list of criteria was developed, but it seemed unfair to judge them by such, since my nominees are from different spheres of life and have faced different nuances, challenges and circumstances. So, the list was dispensed with. At the end of the day, I realised the choice was not so difficult after all. But, before the winner is announced, the following persons were the ones short-listed:

The Nurse Woman - A modern-day Nanny who speaks without fear or favour of the crowd and who was forthright in her campaign to better the lot of nurses, though one of them gave me a huge tablet last year and told me to use my saliva to bring it down, because there was no water on the ward. But more so, for accepting the Government's wage package after she realised that there was no Moses to part the Red Sea.

Greatest love of all

Kanye West was high on the list for being a believer in himself. While some people are suffering from low self-esteem, Kanye fell in love with himself, over and over, and over. He, who was brought up on Whitney Houston's The Greatest Love of All. "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all," he sang as a youngster. And he believed it.

Usain Bolt - For bringing joy to the hearts of many Jamaicans, but he just missed out for being a no-show at a recent well-publicised activity.

United States President Barack Obama was a strong nominee for turning the White House black. It was bound to happen. However, what cost Obama the award was that he is not a product of the black American slave experience, which makes his pre-eminence less poignant. Nice family, though.

Sinking ship

The minister of finance for keeping the sinking ship called SS Jamaica afloat, despite the numerous downgrades, resignations and for defying Nurse Woman, tape or no tape. And, more important, for being the only one of the 'One-Third' left standing at a time when the world is having a financial recess.

And now for the winner! Ladies and gentlemen (drum-roll!), no one deserves the honour more than I do. Yes, I, Oxy Moron, am the Sunday Sauce Person of the Year, and I will not go on and on, saying why, lest I be accused of being poor and 'boasy'. So, I will just pat myself on my broad shoulders and hope that next year someone who is worthier than I am is so honoured.

Oxydmoron@gmail.com