SUNDAY SAUCE: The scorpion and the thug

Published: Sunday | October 11, 2009


Oxy Moron, Contributor

Jamaican Thug: Hey, wadz up?

Scorpion: ASL.

Jamaican Thug: What that mean?

Scorpion: Age, sex and location.

Jamaican Thug: Yow, the I is a man. A what you a deal wid? You noh si mi name thug?

Scorpion: But dem have woman thug too, so that's why mi ask.

Jamaican Thug: Well, I don't know bout any woman thug. So you a what, man or woman?

Scorpion: Woman scorpion.

Jamaican Thug: Them one deh bite hot.

Scorpion: You done know, so you want mi come bite you? (lol)

Jamaican Thug: I don't deal wid them things deh, so come affa that.

Scorpion: What you talking bout? Mi just seh mi want come bite you, bite can mean anything.

Jamaican Thug: Mi affi mek sure because a whole heap a kinky things a gwaan bout yah.

Scorpion: Anyway, just cool nuh, relax and tell mi you age.

Jamaican Thug: Woman don't want tell them age yet them want know man age.

Scorpion: Man you dark sah.

Jamaican Thug: Then nuh true? Tell mi you age then.

Scorpion: Awright mi a 23.

Jamaican Thug: Mi a 25 still, suh, you look good?

Scorpion: Suh dem sey.

Jamaican Thug: Dem who?

Scorpion: Mi fren them.

Jamaican Thug: Fren them? Suh whey yuh man deh?

Scorpion: Don't have none.

Jamaican Thug: How come?

Scorpion: The last one mi have him was too mean. Whey your woman deh?

Jamaican Thug: We kinda low key. A mi baby mother still, but shi deh pon a different ends.

Scorpion: Suh you don't want come pon my ends?

Jamaican Thug: Mi affi see a who mi a talk to fuss.

Scorpion: But mi done tell you sey mi look good.

Jamaican Thug: Never see any scorpion weh look good.

Scorpion: Well, this one is very hot, only the mean man dem nuh want spend.

Jamaican Thug: A pure mean argument you a pon, I don't like dem vibes deh.

Scorpion: Suh you mean too?

Jamaican Thug: All a unoo feel seh man must spend money pon unoo like wi a bank.

Scorpion: Then a so it go. Nothing is free. a pure mean man inna this chat room.

Jamaican Thug: So wait deh, a tell yuh a tell mi seh a sell you a sell?

Scorpion: No, you coulda mad, but yuh affi tek care a yuh property.

Jamaican Thug: Mi feel seh everybody must tek care a himself so that yuh nuh feel obligated to nobody.

Scorpion: Yes, but man must care fi woman.

Jamaican Thug: And woman must care fi man, but most time a wi alone just a give so.

Scorpion: But unoo a get too.

Jamaican Thug: Get what?

Scorpion: Yuh done know.

Jamaican Thug: Well, a two a wi a benefit from it.

Scorpion: So yuh seh.

Jamaican Thug: So noh true?

Jamaican Thug: Answer noh

Jamaican Thug: Yuh gone?

Jamaican Thug: Are you still there?

Jamaican Thug: Scorpion, come bite mi noh, whey yuh gone?!

oxydmoron@gmail.com


 
 
 
The opinions on this page do not necessarily reflect the views of The Gleaner. The Gleaner reserves the right not to publish comments that may be deemed libelous, derogatory or indecent. To respond to The Gleaner please use the feedback form.