Doctor's advice: Will she know?
Published: Saturday | July 25, 2009
A No, you are not right. Quite a lot of younger women have this worry, but it is quite unnecessary.
No doctor can tell whether a woman has masturbated or not. Also, it is important for you to realise that the doc will not be remotely interested in that.
She has more important things to think about - like curing your period problems.
Q At the age of 26, I have had quite a lot of one-night stands with girls but never had a long-term relationship. In fact, I have never actually taken a girl out. Whenever I have had sex, it has always been because I met somebody in a club or at a party. I have sex with them, then say goodbye and go home. I would like to break this pattern. What can I do?
A Well, I think you are right to want to break this rather pointless pattern of behaviour. Otherwise, you are never going to be able to form adult relationships or have a happy marriage and start a family.
I would suggest that the first thing you need to do is to stop seeing women as sex objects.
They are not just 'bodies' that are there for you to have sex with. And they are not just vaginas!
No, they are people. And they are people with minds.
It would be good for you to make a point of talking to a number of girls and find out what their interests are and what their ambitions in life are. Why not attempt to have a conversation with several women every day?
Then you could try and invite somebody out for the evening, and spend a good part of the time talking - but without attempting to have sex!
In addition, I think you should find yourself a trained counsellor in your area, preferably one who specialises in the emotional problems of young people. Good luck.
Q I thought I had caught 'the clap' from a girl in Kingston but when I went to a clinic they examined me, did all the tests and gave me the all-clear. But what is worrying me now is this. The clinic is clearly a place where they have VD germs. So could I have picked up some nasty infection through having the blood tests and other checks in the doctor's office?
A No, that is not possible. I have seen a number of patients like yourself, who became wrongly convinced that they had caught venereal disease. They are mostly male, but a few are female.
As soon as they were told their tests were negative, they immediately got the idea that they could have caught an infection from the testing needle or the doctor's couch.
This condition is well known. Indeed, it is so well known that it has a name: venereophobia. That means excessive or irrational fear of VD.
It is obvious that you are not thinking straight. So I urge you to go and see a doctor who is experienced in dealing with psychological problems.
Q I am desperate to have sex with my girlfriend. If we did it just once, what would be the chances of accidentally causing a pregnancy?
A Around one in 20. However, you probably won't do it just once. The likelihood is that you will be tempted to try it again!
So if you really cannot resist going ahead, please go first to a doc or nurse who can advise you about contraception.
Q I have got a vaginal discharge, plus a pain in the belly. I would like to consult a doctor, but my mother says that is not necessary, since the likely cause is 'evil spirits'. What do you think, Doc?
A I know of no way in which 'evil spirits' could cause a pain in the belly and a discharge. Taken together, these symptoms usually indicate some form of infection.
The sooner you consult a doctor, the better.
Q I am a female mature student at university, and I have met a great guy, who I would like to marry. We have not been to bed together yet. My problem is that some years ago, when I was in America, I had a vaginal termination. Is there any way he could detect this during sex?
A Unless he is a gynaecologist, there is absolutely no way that he could detect that you once had an abortion.
However, I do wonder whether it wouldn't be fairer of you to tell him about it? As far as possible, it is best to go into marriage with no secrets.
Q While lifting heavy weights the other day, I felt severe pain in my lower back and down my leg. My doctor says it is sciatica. What is that and could it affect my sex life?
A Sciatica is common. It means pain, which starts in the lowest part of the back, just above the buttock, and then runs down the back of the leg towards the heel.
In the great majority of cases, this is caused from a disc bulging out and pressing on a nerve root at the base of the spine.
Fortunately, most people with sciatica do get better within six weeks or so. But if that does not happen, you may have to consider surgery on your back.
No, sciatica does not generally affect a person's ability to have sex.
Q As a active man of 25, I am usually in pretty good health. But during the last couple of weeks, I have noticed a little blood on my pants, coming from the rectum. Is this serious, Doc?
A At your youthful age, the likeliest reason for slight rectal bleeding is piles, also known as haemorrhoids.
However, there is a small chance that the blood could be caused from some more serious disease of the rectum. Therefore, I would like you to see a doc right away in order to have the anus examined.
Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com.
