Dear Counsellor:

I am 50 years old and find that I have premature ejaculation and sometimes absence of erection. I am very concerned about this.

- Manuel

Dear Manuel:

A lot of men have the problem of impotence and they suffer in silence because they feel ashamed. Impotence is a medical condition that is caused by something physical and/or psychological. One of the most common causes of impotence in your age group is diabetes mellitus. Medication for hypertension can also cause impotence. Go to your general practitioner and explain to him or her. You may need to have blood tests done.

Impotence can cause anxiety and depression in males. Females can become frustrated with their partners, and so conflict exists in the sexual relationship. A vicious cycle can exist where anxiety and depression cause impotence which, in turn, will cause more anxiety and depression. Many times there is resentment between the partners and this can affect their sex life. Maybe you need to see a counsellor to resolve the conflict.

There are various types of medication that can be used for these problems. See a urologist and a counsellor.

Stressed-out mom

Dear Counsellor:

I am feeling stressed. I am a mother of three children and work full-time. I need some stress-management tips to help me cope.

- Marion

Dear Marion:

Life is about stresses and we all have to develop coping strategies. We tend to get anxious and worried about events. We need to consider whether what happens today will matter five years from now. Many times it is needless worry.

You need to prioritise and delegate some of your duties. Where is the father of the children? He can assist with their transportation. If the children are old enough, they can make their beds and wash the dishes. The children can also dust the furniture. You may need to pre-prepare the meals and cook for more than one day. If the children are young, you may need a part-time helper.

You need some time for yourself, enjoying simple solitary moments in the bathtub, massaging your body and relaxing in the water. Hydrotherapy is a good stress reducer. Relaxation is good so put yourself in a calm mood.

Think positively at all times. Count your many blessings and give thanks to God. Take the children with you to church and Sunday school. Pay attention to the spiritual aspects of your life. Slow down and enjoy the moment.

Email questions for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.