Mel Cooke, Gleaner Writer

The South Avenue, St Andrew-based Women's Media Watch (WMW), which turned 21 last year, defines itself as "a civil society organisation committed to reducing gender-based violence. WMW promotes gender equity and gender-aware media and communications".

In defining a 'single woman', WMW member Hilary Nicholson suggests that "single refers to not having a partner or being in relationship. Single can also refer to not being legally married, but I suggest that in our context it's more the above, that is, don't limit the notion of 'single' to non-married".

The Sunday Gleaner asked if being single is distinguishable for celibate and Nicholson says they are. "Celibate means not having sex. Both women and men remain single and still engage in sex, that is, sexual encounters without any prolonged relationship," she said.

Another Women's Media Watch member, J. French says, who defines a single woman as "one who is not in a committed sexual relationship", says 'single' and 'celibate' "need not, and do not necessarily go together. Married women can choose to be celibate for a while! (Shocking idea, you find? Well, the married woman has to agree to have sex - and may want to be left alone for a while for various reasons). And single women do have, and do have a right to, sex!"

The Sunday Gleaner asks if it is necessary for a woman to be validated by a man wanting to commit to her long term or legally (in marriage) and French says "no - but having 'the right one' around does feel good ... if you are not into alternatives ... ".

And Nicholson says "theoretically it is not at all necessary, as a woman has value in and of herself and legally and socially has equal human rights. But since our society is patriarchal and adheres to a gender ideology that privileges male status (male authority, leadership, knowledge) and since our society therefore places such cultural values and expectation on a woman being married and defines womanhood in terms of motherhood, wife status, this results in some women feeling validated only with that long term or legal commitment".

Higher education

While she doesn't know if more women are choosing to remain single, Nicholson says "there is a correlation between remaining single and pursuing higher education, but I'm not sure what we know about the causal link".

French sees a connection in that "the men get the girls young. Those who wait to study have little to choose from and even the men who are still looking are looking for young things or are afraid of women with 'too much talk' and independence".

And French says 40 years old "is fabulous! The best sex! Now you really know what it is about and can take control of your destiny! At 20, you are exploring - and somewhat unsure of yourself, caught between the anxiety for validation and seeking your own pleasure. You also know by 40 that it is not only about the romance - which is often hormone-driven and reckless - but oh so good!

"Life is for living," she said.