Dear Counsellor:

My children are grown and I feel lonely and bored. I need to occupy my time.

- Margaret

Dear Margaret:

Life can be lonely when our children become adults and leave home. Usually, the children go off to college and mom is at home bored. There is a term - empty-nest syndrome - that defines this period of life.

It is a reality that children will grow up and leave home. Parents, especially mothers, need to occupy their time and focus on other aspects of their lives.

Remember that the children are within reach as you can communicate using the Internet, letters or telephone.

At this time of your life, it is important to reconnect with your spouse. It is like a second honeymoon and you should enjoy it. It is a time of renewal, reorientation and refocusing. Plan activities for both of you and be prepared to enjoy yourself.

It is good to get involved in some physical activity, like walking. Also important are community activities and volunteerism. Work is useful and so you can network with other individuals.

There is a lot to be done to occupy your time. The children will always be around.

My 17-year-old is depressed

Dear Counsellor:

I have a daughter who is 17 years old. She complains of being depressed and that life isn't worthwhile. I am taking her to counselling.

- Janet

Dear Janet:

Teenagers have several health issues that are of concern to them. They are concerned about their physical appearance, self-esteem, relationship with peers and their academic performance. These matters cause them to be depressed.

Some adolescents have suicidal ideation or attempt suicide. Depression need to be properly evaluated and promptly treated. There are many physical causes of depression and sometimes medication is needed.

Please take your daughter for a physical check-up and a psychiatric assessment. These evaluations will provide information about the cause of the depression and the treatment. Counselling is good but we need to have individuals medically cleared so that unfortunate events don't occur. Depression is a medical disorder which needs to be accordingly treated.

If you want advice on family or personal issues, email questions to Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call her at 978-8602.