Whittle

On Saturdays Mama goes to Brown's Town to buy groceries. She usually goes alone and leaves us at home. Each Saturday, she delivers the usual warning:

"Unnu behave unnuself till ah get back. Don't give yuh father nuh trouble meck him haffi beat unnu."

Everyone knows that we can't fool with Papa. When he is at home, we have to be on our best behaviour. I think Mama is really concerned that we don't give him any reason to flog us when she is not around to rescue us. But it's all right. We toe the line until Mama returns and finds us all in one piece.

I long to go shopping with Mama, but Mama says it's too much trouble to take me with her. I am not giving up though. I know that if I bother Mama enough, she will give in.

"Mama please let me come with you to market!" I plead over and over again.

"Betty yuh too small. Carry yuh with mi and next thing yuh go pull away from mi and get lost."

"No Mama. Mi will hold on tight to yuh. Please let mi go with yuh next time."

I keep begging to go with her, but I am not getting anywhere. She is determined that I will give her too much trouble. Each Saturday I sulk and sob and watch longingly as she boards the bus and leaves.

Today I am beside myself with joyful anxiety. I am going to Brown's Town with Mama! She is going to buy shoes for me and I have to go with her to try them on.

Mama combs my hair in pony tails and dresses me in my frilly pink dress and black slippers. We are now at the gate, waiting for Confidence, the morning bus.

After an eternity, the loud tooting of Confidence signals its arrival. Mama pushes out her hand and it stops at our feet. Mama puts me in the bus and follows me. There are many empty seats and I head for a window seat. Mama sits beside me, and the journey begins.

The ride is bumpy, but I feel like I'm in Heaven. The trees and houses and everything outside are running with the bus.

"Mama why the trees following us?"

"The trees not following us. Is because the bus moving fast an ... ."

Before she can finish, Confidence stops, braps! It is so sudden that I am thrown forward and knock my head on the seat in font of me. Luckily, it is soft and spongy, so it doesn't hurt much. Mama holds me tightly.

"Yuh all right, child?"

"Yes, Mama."

"Teck it easy driver! Yuh no haffi jam pon the brake an stop so sudden!" a stocky old man complains.

People are coming inside the bus. As soon as the trees start running, the bus stops again and more people pile in. Now all the seats are full and people are standing. People are stumbling on to each other. Some are swaying from side to side as the bus careens around the steep corners.

Thank God, Mama and I have seat!

The driver toots the horn consistently. It plays a little tune. I continue to look out the window. The children are dancing to the tooting of the horn. They are dancing and shouting, but I can't hear what they are saying.

Confidence is full of people, but I see a lady waving it down. Confidence stops, as the driver toots the little tune. The lady is trying to squeeze into the bus, but it is so packed!

I watch the little children dancing, and all this time the driver is tooting the horn.

"A pretty gal mi want! A pretty gal mi want! A pretty gal mi want!"

"If a laugh a pop!" I say to Mama. "Look at the children dancing and singing to the tune the driver tooting!"

"Don't look!" Mama puts her hand over my face. "They should be ashamed of themselves, wining up them little skin like that! An the driver him, love the joke!"

"Lef the pickney dem, Meck dem enjoy demself!" someone from inside the bus shouts.

Confidence continues its bumpy journey. It is not taking up anybody else. Thank God.

Now, a lot of stores and big buildings loom into sight. Many people are selling all kinds of goods on the side of the road.

"We reach!" Mama announces as the bus bumps to a final stop.

Mama heads for the large store called supermarket. Nice things are arranged attractively on low shelves inside here.

"Mama how everybody tecking up the goods? Where the shopkeeper to sell them?"

"This is a self-serve supermarket," Mama informs me. "Just observe how it operate."

Mama picks up a basket and I help her to put goods in it. We put in sugar, flour, cornmeal and salt, all neatly packaged in plastic bags. Mama chooses other goods like quaker oats and cornflakes and Betty milk which help to fill the basket. We then join a line and when we reach the pretty Chinese girl at the counter, she pushes buttons on a machine and gives Mama the paper that comes out. Mama pays her and collects the grocery that another lady packs into black plastic bags.

"Inside there smell nice and have plenty things," I say to Mama. "But people bound to steal the goods."

"Camera watching them."

"Oh!"

We head for the market. It is a big place, with people selling things everywhere in the building, which has no doors. Some are outside with their goods spread on the ground. We can hardly find place to walk.

"Come nice lady, buy something fi di pretty little girl."

"Nice fat ripe bananas here!"

"June plum going cheap. Eat them same way or meck nice drink. Meck di little girl taste this one. They sweet like sugar."

I take the plum and wash it at the stand pipe nearby before I eat it.

"It really sweet Mama."

She buys a dozen. Mama buys a lot of things in the market. There is a lady selling fried dumplings nearby. She mixes the dough and drops them into a big frying pan. Close by is another pot with ackee and salt fish. It smells so good that I feel hungry. I pull Mama towards the fire.

"I want fry dumpling, Mama."

"No," Mama whispers, as she pulls me away. "Yuh can't buy dumpling from just anybody. It might carry germs."

"How yuh know that the dumplings have germs Mama! They look nice to me!"

"Lady galang with yuh hungry belly pickney! Yuh too damn fass. Bout germs! Scornful dog nyam dutty pudding! Galang!"

"Don't call my mother dog!" I shout at her.

Mama drags me away.

"Come on!" she shouts. "Is you cause this."

I leave without the dumpling, and I am disappointed, but Mama takes me to a little shop where we eat patty and drink soda.

Across the street is a store with a big sign marked BATA SHOES STORE. We enter this store and leave the bags with the man who puts them behind the counter and gives Mama a ticket with a number.

What a lot of shoes! There are shoes of every size and description. There are black, white, red and brown shoes. What a whole heap of boots!

I sit on a bench and try on a shiny pair of black shoes. They fit perfectly. I want to keep them on but Mama says no. The man in the store takes them off and puts them into a box. Mama pays for the shoes and we collect our bags and leave.

"Time to go back home," she says as she struggles with the bags. This time we go into a small white bus. I sit at the window with Mama beside me. People can't stand in this bus. It is too small. As soon as the seats are full, the driver revs up the engine and away we go.

Trees and buildings are dashing by. This ride is not as bumpy as the ride on the big bus. Everything is running so fast, so fast, so ...

I am back in the market. The woman with the dumplings is not angry anymore. She calls me and gives me a plate of fried dumplings and ackee and salt fish. I eat everything, but where is Mama?

"Where is Mama?" I ask the woman.

"I don't know and a don't care," she answers. "Scornful dog eat dutty pudding."

"I say don't call her dog!" I shout as I set out to find Mama.

I am walking through the crowd. I am searching for her. I keep coming back to the same place. I can't find her. I can't find my way out of the market. I am lost. Why didn't I hold on to Mama's hand?

I start to cry. Through my tears I see a red dress going through the crowd. That must be Mama. I run until I catch up with her.

"Mama!" I shout.

She turns around. It is not Mama. It is the black heart man disguised as Mama.

"I want your liver to make medicine!" he shouts as he grabs me.

"Mama!" I scream. "I want my mother!"

"I am right here beside you," Mama says as she shakes me vigorously. "We reach home. Come!"