POSITIVE Parenting

"I know of a lady in Florida who gave birth when she was not quite 22 weeks along in her pregnancy, and the baby survived."

"I was born at 26 weeks, and look at me now. I'm fine."

The truth is, it is possible for a really premature baby to survive, but it is not the norm! Of those who do, some continue on to die, and many have health problems when they are children, sometimes extending into adulthood. It seems to me that whenever a foetus is born before its time, and survives, the press like to sensationalise the story, saying how fantastic medicine is these days. Indeed, the medical profession has come a long way, Jamaica included. However, 'miracle' stories can mislead people into dreaming that these scenarios are the reality for everyone. This is both irresponsible of the media, and dangerous.

At 26 1/2 weeks pregnant, I went into preterm labour. I don't believe that I have ever been more frightened in my life. One can never be prepared for the death of a child. I had little doubt that I'd get through the labour itself, and that I would meet our son. However, his prospects for surviving at such a young age, with undeveloped lungs, intestines, brain, and goodness knows what else, were very slim.

The neonatal team came to see me in the labour ward of the University Hospital of the West Indies, but they too affirmed my concerns. Nothing could guarantee that the baby would live for long, with or without ventilator. I was administered with steroids to help mature the baby's lungs, and they explained to me the facts and what the procedures for him would be, should he arrive early. But they were quite clear that a 'preemie' could be doing well one day, and then not so much the next. In other words, do whatever it takes to keep him inside my womb! Remain well hydrated, take the medications, stay in bed, pray!

I'm not belittling people's well-wishes, but the last thing someone in my position wants to hear is a cacophony of these 'miracle' stories I mentioned above. They play NO part in calming the worries of a woman in preterm labour, and are, in fact, most unhelpful. A simple, "I'm so sorry to hear that you have to go through this. It must be very upsetting for you", would suffice.

Positive thinking

Look, I'm not saying that one shouldn't have faith. The power of positive thinking is an incredible tool that should be exercised at all times, if possible. However, a little fear does help you stick to the doctor's orders. Do you know how tempting it is to get up and just get some water from the fridge, or put a load of laundry in the washing machine? Once taking the appropriate medications, and remaining in bed, I have been pain free much of the time. This is when temptation is likely to rear his slimy head. This is when the trepidation of going back into labour, and giving birth two or three months early, prevents you from doing something stupid.

Have you heard the saying, 'Pain is your protection'? Well, let that be true about fear.

I have heard it from the horses' mouths (not that I think my doctors are horses, of course) themselves. Up to the last day of pregnancy, a baby's body is still developing. Until it is capable of living outside your uterus without medical intervention (all other things being equal), then that is exactly where it should remain. There is a very good reason why pregnancy is supposed to last 40 weeks!

Emmadaltonbrown@gmail.com