A very dirty Yoda after playing in the mud. - Contributed

Yoda tells chapter four of our bedtime story.

It was a strange day when our human parents moved us into their house. We'd lived outside up to this point, but we were all excited about being indoors with Mummy and Daddy. We had always wondered what it was like in their home. Was their floor made out of grass like ours? Were the bowls they ate from the same as ours? How and where did they use the bathroom? Could they climb out of their house at night, like we had out of ours? My real Mummy giggled when we asked her these questions, and only told us that things were different for humans.

All the differences

My brothers and I could never have imagined all the differences we came across. Our human parents would sit on a large ceramic bowl, perched above where we could reach. Often, they sat there more than once a day. When I grew tall enough, I realised that this is how they use the bathroom. So cool! I wish we could use one of these, but we still have to go outside to do our business.

Do you know that they don't even have grass growing in their house? They have wood, and then in some rooms they have these things called tiles. I like these because it feels nice and cold when I lie down on them. And when the breeze comes in at night, we curl up on something called a rug, which keeps us warm. Don't get me wrong, I love running wild in the garden, but humans live in luxury!

The part that we loved the most about the human house at first was that they had so many toys for us to play with. Huge orange and purple cushions, wooden table legs, and shoes, which my brothers and I were always hiding from one another. Our noses were constantly being hit for doing this, but I don't understand why. They were on the floor, the humans were not using them, so why couldn't we have them?

New rules

Of course, I have learnt since then that there are some items which dogs are not allowed to touch. Apparently, cushions are off-limits as well, but I remember the good days of ripping them up with our teeth, and all that lovely white stuffing flying out, into the room! As for the furniture legs we liked to gnaw on? Human Mummy never quite got us to stop doing that.

We ate our meals in what the humans call the 'Dogs' Room', where my real Mummy and I still eat now that Bailey and Pluto have left. They went to live with a super kind lady in Port Antonio, by the way, and we hear that they love it there. Anyway, back to food. Did you know that human grown ups do not eat with only their mouths? They put the food on a fork, which is held by a hand, and then it goes into the mouth. Seems like too much work, if you ask me. Wouldn't it be easier just to stick their faces into their plates and gobble their food up the way we do? I've tried doing it off their plates and it works just as well as it does from my bowl!

Mummy was right when she said that humans aren't the same as us, but I still like living in the human house.

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