Dear Counsellor:

I am 44 years old and have a medical illness. I have difficulty complying with the instructions of weight loss, exercise and diet. I would like to get some coping strategies for maintaining my health.

- Jane

Dear Jane:

Whenever we have a chronic condition, we are placed in a position to make lifelong changes to promote good health. Exercise, weight management, stress management and diet are the foundations of good health. It is the basis of all health care and can prevent the development of certain illnesses or the complications of certain conditions.

It is tedious to take tablets several times per day and so sometimes people forget or get frustrated. One has to devise strategies like keeping the pills in a specific place every day so that as you pass by you can see the medication.

It is good to work in a group or with friends as this will give support. Have a friend or two who will, via the telephone, help to motivate you to continue with your lifestyle programmes.

Motivation

It would be excellent to have someone who can help you directly with the programmes. As you do your walking, you can talk to your companion to make the walk less boring. A faithful companion like a wife or husband can motivate and help you to stick to your schedule and routines and keep your programme going.

Spirituality has helped a lot of people who find that belief in God can help them cope with the realities of life. A higher power, as used in 12-step recovery programmes, uses the concept of an all-powerful being who is in control. The support of others in your faith can go a long way towards helping you to cope with your illness. Daily prayer, meditation and fasting have helped many people to battle their illnesses and keep well.

Down over Down's

Dear Counsellor:

I am 26 years old and recently had my first child. I was expecting a normal, healthy baby but my baby has Down's syndrome. The doctors told me that she has physical abnormalities and will be mentally retarded.

I am devastated and cry daily. I am unhappy and need to find solace to deal with my disappointments. I am looking forward to your usually encouraging words.

- Joan

Dear Joan:

Thanks for your letter and I will try to meet your requests. We have no control over some things in life. We have to trust God who directs our path. Many times pregnancy is filled with high positive expectations, parents beaming with pride and high self-worth.

The parents have achieved the ultimate - they will have a baby. Infertile couples go through many tests to be able to reproduce. You can imagine their joy when pregnancy becomes a reality.

Life, however, is full of the unexpected. Many babies are born with physical or mental abnormalities. It is a great disappointment for the new parents and their grief is intolerable. They are mourning the loss of their dreams, hopes and expectations.

The parents need professional counselling to deal with the profound grief. One has to deal with the depression, the anger and the acceptance. Many times we simply have to live with things as they are because there are no other options.

Need family support

One of the things you will need is a lot of support from family, friends and health-care workers. You have a child who will be with you for all their years. These days we encourage in-home care of affected children with lots of early stimulation.

Observations show that these children do well with early intensive intervention. Their level of functionality can be very high with self-help skills being well developed. Your health-care provider can work closely with a counsellor to optimise the functioning of you and your family.

In Jamaica, there are lots of facilities for children and adults with disabilities. As part of your empowerment, you can join the associations to lobby for people with disabilities. One needs to feel a sense of control and mastery over the events in one's life.

Often we feel guilty and blame ourselves about events over which we have no control. This situation is similar: Having a child with Down's syndrome is not your fault.

Need advice on personal or family concerns about health and well-being? Call Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602 or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.