Dear Counsellor:

I am the mother of three children and I have a full-time job. My husband is also working but is helpful in small ways. I am interested in a stress-management programme to help me to cope.

- Claudette

Dear Claudette:

You seem to be experiencing the impact of life stressors. Life is stressful and we need all the help we can get. A therapist would be able to walk you through the process to cope adequately.

In these days of multitasking, it would seem that women are experts at it. I say that because a woman has to be mother, helper, worker and relative.

We need to approach life with a sense of gratitude. We need to count our blessings and give thanks to God. I guess we Jamaicans should have a Thanksgiving festival similar to that of the United States each year. There will always be trials and temptations. You need to have a positive mindset and reframe your life and thoughts to see the rose and work with the thorns.

Jobs are scarce so you need to be thankful that you and your spouse are working. Sit with your spouse and make a list of activities that need to be done.

One of the attributes that an individual needs to cultivate is organisation, so that her productivity can improve. You need to prioritise and delegate appropriately. One person cannot do everything. Your husband may be good at certain tasks, so let him do those chores. He may have the time to do various other things at home or do specific errands.

Some people ask their relatives to pitch in and help with the children. There are many activities that children can get involved in, but one has to be selective and organised to accomplish the tasks.

Parenting and caregiving are challenges because of the many tasks to be done. Time is at a premium and good time management is key to coping with the avalanche of activities.

Sleep is important - budget for it. Rest provides the body with relief from stressors and you should feel refreshed when you wake up in the morning.

Nutrition is also important as well-balanced meals will provide energy for daily activities.

Support groups are helpful. If you are involved in your church, whether in prayer meetings or Bible study sessions, it provides a nurturing environment which will enhance performance. Managing stress and enhancing performance is possible and individuals should seek help to deal with it.

Dear Counsellor:

I am 35 years old and would like to have a baby. I have been trying for three years without success. I am now depressed and experience sleepless nights as well poor appetite. I need help with this problem.

- Elaine

Dear Elaine:

In the Jamaican culture, pregnancy and childbearing are very important to both males and females. Children are seen as a gift from God.

A woman might feel unfulfilled if she is not able to get pregnant. Sometimes people are unkind to such women and criticise them bitterly.

As a woman, I empathise with your plight, as we generally view childbearing as a major role. Your depression needs to be treated with cognitive therapy and you may also need medication. Infertility is a medical condition, which needs to be evaluated and investigated. You should be having sex in the middle of your menstrual cycle as this is the most fertile period.

Your doctor will ask you several questions, examine you and send you to take tests. Your partner needs to be evaluated as well. Please see your doctor to have your depression and infertility treated.