Petrina Francis, Staff ReporterFinding a lifelong partner is generally difficult for the average Joe, and the challenges for persons living with HIV/AIDS are even greater.
Despite extensive public education programmes and other awareness efforts, the stigma against persons with the disease is still strong. Add to that the obvious risk of infection or other complications, and the odds against companionship begin to mount.
"No! Are you mad?" asked 27-year-old student, Charles Pratt, when asked if he would have an intimate relationship with someone who is HIV-positive.
"You must be crazy. While I am sympathetic towards people who are living with HIV, I would not subject myself to anything like that."
He notes that having sex would not be fun because he would be constantly thinking about the possibility of contracting the disease.
Shanice Gordonwas equally dismissive of the idea of getting intimate with an HIV-positive man.
"A relationship leads to a certain level of intimacy and I am not getting involved in a relationship with anyone that I can't (be adventurous) with," she said.
Depends on what stage of my life
After Gordon settled and got deeper into the conversation, she said she might consider dating an HIV-infected person.
"But it depends on what stage of my life I am when I meet the person. If I have children and have lived my life to the fullest, then I could explore the possibility of a relationship with someone living with HIV.
"Wow! No, man! I don't think I would knowingly date somebody who has HIV. We could be friends but that's as far as it would get," said Shelly-Ann Brown.
The 24-year-old argued that it would be difficult because HIV/AIDS would hamstring her desire to have a child and leave her open to contracting the disease.
Revealing one's status in Jamaica often leads to discrimination. The Ministry of Health estimates that of the 27,000 people living with HIV/AIDS, 18,000 are unaware of their status.
Marlon Coleis involved with a woman living with HIV since 2005 and has no problem with it. In fact, they are the proud parents of a one-year-old daughter.
Cole does not have HIV. An unconventional method was used to impregnate his partner. However, they would not recommend this method. Cole visited his doctor and was put on antiretroviral medication, months prior to the unprotected sexual contact between the two .They live as a happy family and the baby is also HIV-negative.
The Ministry of Health reported on Thursday that there was a 30 per cent decrease in the number of new AIDS cases in 2007 when compared with the previous year. Data also indicate a drop in the number of AIDS-related deaths.
The Ministry of Health is encouraging persons, who are sexually active to find out their HIV status.
Monday will be observed as World AIDS Day.
Names changed
- petrina.francis@gleanerjm.com
Tips for engaging in relationships with HIV-infected persons
Get to know the person who you are interested in dating. If you are considering dating someone living with HIV, you should take the time to really get to know that person and find out about his/her interests, likes, dislikes and goals. It is important to build a strong friendship with that person before rushing into a serious relationship with him. Also, make sure that you do not engage in any type of sexual activities at the beginning of the relationship. Take time out of your schedule to learn about HIV. You can find information on the Internet, visit a library for books and materials, or stop by a local health centre to pick up brochures and handouts about HIV. This can help you better understand the virus before developing a close or intimate relationship with someone who has HIV. Talk with your potential partner about his/her HIV status. Find out more about his/her illness, such as how often he/she visits the doctor, the medication he/she is taking, side effects experienced from the medicine, current viral load and white blood cell count. This can give you some insight on the severity of your partner's illness, daily schedule and what might be expected from you, as a partner. Discuss your future relationship and be honest about your concerns. If you decide to date someone with HIV, it is important to discuss your feelings and concerns with that person. Determine the type of relationship you want to have (such as casual dating, an intimate relationship or something long-term with the possibility of marriage) and make sure the other person wants the same thing. Use protection when engaging in sexual activities. HIV is transmitted through infected blood, semen and vaginal secretions, so it is important to protect yourself if you do participate in any type of sexual activity with an infected person (such as vaginal, anal or oral sex). Be sure to use a latex condom each time you have sex with someone who has HIV.
Know your HIV status. If you are involved with someone who has HIV, you should get tested for the virus at least once every six months. Provide emotional support to your partner. Let your partner know that you are there for him/her and encourage your partner to open up and talk to you. Also, be sure to accompany your partner on doctor visits whenever you can. This shows your partner that you really do care and that you are concerned about his/her health.
