Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor,

I live with my spouse and two children. Many times, we have financial problems. We are both working and don't seem to be able to make ends meet.

- Marion

Dear Marion,

It is good that both of you are working, as the family income is larger. Both of you need to make an individual budget of your monthly expenses and yearly expenses. Some things are paid once or twice per year. You can put aside money on a monthly basis towards these expenses. Divide these expenses into 12 parts and save each month towards them. Budgeting is essential, as it helps to control expenses and improve the savings. If you can afford it, you can get a financial adviser to help you with your accounting and investing. There can be several budgets, like for household, work and personal matters. All these can be made into a large budget. You need to save for the future. You need to live today and enjoy yourself. Your quality of life gives you satisfaction and improves well-being. Some expenses are optional, like eating out every weekend. Instead of buying lunch you can bring lunch, to work some days. Clothes can be recycled and rearranged.

As a couple, you both can agree on who will pay for certain expenses and each person can make a commitment to honour these arrangements. Conflict usually arises when someone falls short on his/her end of arrangements. You cannot expect that your spouse will always bail you out. Keeping commitments is quite difficult for some individuals. Everyone is in financial stress and we need to be cooperative and considerate of our spouses.

Incomes vary among individuals and some individuals have high work expenses. These expenses have to be taken out so the income will be reduced. Increasing your income is one way to go as well as reducing expenditure. Some people work from home to reduce overhead expenses. Working together to pay the bills is very important to reduce conflict and build wealth.

Bipolar disorder

Dear Counsellor,

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am very terrified and frightened about this. I feel ashamed, humiliated and isolated. I cannot discus this with anyone except my psychiatrist.

My family doesn't understand what is happening and think that there is nothing wrong with me. I don't like to take medication but I have been told that I will have to take mood stabilisers for many years. How can I cope?

- Janet

Dear Janet,

You are not alone. Up to two per cent of the population is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. There are medications and psychosocial interventions available to help you cope with this condition. People have a lot of negative feelings whenever they are diagnosed with any illness. Mental illness is stigmatised and individuals feel humi-liated and rejected whenever they are told that they have this condition. There are many illnesses that individuals are scared of and Bipolar disorder is one of them.

In the initial phase, you will feel angry and upset about the diagnosis. You may seek a second opinion to reassure yourself that you really have a mental problem. Getting a diagnosis is important as you can now organise your life to deal with your health problems.

There is lots of information on the Internet about bipolar disorder. This condition runs in families and is associated with a lower quality of life if it is not treated appropriately. Most people recognise the depressive phase of the illness but not the hypomanic phase. Bipolar disorder is caused by dysfunction of certain chemicals in the brain. Children, adolescents, adults and the elderly can be affected.

The symptoms can be controlled and the individual will be able to function.

Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson 978-8602 .yvonniebd@hotmail.com