Angela Philipps, Gleaner Writer

Many men might invest in property, bonds, stocks, and the like. The single working girl is no different in today's world. 'Back in the day', as my grandfather would say, women got married at a young age and never had to worry, let alone think, about dealing with investments. However, now that we don't jump into marriage so soon, or at all, we too feel that we must consider these things.

We've become so focused on accumulating assets, comparing ourselves to others and putting ourselves under tremendous pressure to spend and have more. This sentiment has extended itself to a woman's body image, in the form of expensive haircuts, designer labels and aesthetic surgery. If only it reached into our inner selves also.

Self-esteem

After writing my article, 'Body of self-esteem', last month, I received the following email from a female:

"I think most people would prefer to have a body of self-esteem, especially after they have got to a certain age. Right now I don't have a body of self-esteem, but would die to have one. Relationships and men are definitely not my problem but I would love to feel comfortable in my own skin/body even once.

"I can't remember ever having a body of self-esteem - 'body of self-esteem' in every sense of the word (literally, figuratively or any other). It is sad that at my stage and age I am still struggling with my imperfec-tions. I can understand your 17-year-old writer, she's still very young, but it upsets me to know that, at 26, I'm thinking like a 17-year-old.

"I was really looking forward to suggestions on how to develop a body of self-esteem, but I guess today's issue was not the place. I do hope you will explore the topic some more. In a world like ours with magazines and TV showing off 'perfect bodies' and measurements, 'developing a body of self-esteem' is certainly a topic to explore.

"It's really a jungle out there, Angela. I can tell you that people 'attack' your body all the time. They tend to see nothing else but the size of your boobs, thighs, butt, arms, mid-section. This can really be embarrassing when you sense that people are looking at you with disdain. Women are more pressured than men; men get away with pot bellies, ugly toes and fingers, etc.

"I might share my story with you some other time ... right now I'm full of emotions so ..."

So how does one develop this 'body of self-esteem'? First, you must realise that you're not alone in your insecurities. On a second note, you do not need others to validate your worth. And last, you are in control of what you feel and think of yourself.

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com

Tips on feeling good

In the meantime, here are some tips on how to get started on feeling good about YOU:

1. Read the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale.

2. Smile as much as you can.

3. Be kind and considerate to others.

4. Exercise every day, even if it's only for 20 minutes.

5. Avoid negative people.

6. Keep your house clean and tidy, which will help to keep your mind clean and tidy.

7. Invite friends over to your house once a week, for drinks or dinner.

8. Take up a hobby that you can do on your own, e.g., gardening, painting, knitting.

9. Keep a diary, writing down all your fears and worries: 'A problem shared is a problem halved'.

10. Be open-minded about dating.

11. Eat healthily as much as possible, but don't deprive yourself from having those little treats you enjoy from time to time.

12. Watch comedies - television, movies and theatre.

13. Stick up for yourself and your beliefs when others drag you down or disagree with you.

14. Get a dog - they are the ultimate companions, and their unconditional love for you will put more than a smile on your face.

15. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself that you are wonderful.

These little points might seem innocuous and insignificant in the grand scale of life, but placed all together, they amount to a world of worth. So do yourself a favour and invest in yourself.