File photos
LEFT: Former Public Defender Howard Hamilton oozes sartorial elegance beside his much younger wife Talia.
RIGHT: Godfrey Dyer and wife Odette Soberam lock lips on their wedding day. The Dyers, who are years apart in age, celebrated their first anniversary this year.

Petrina Francis, Staff Reporter

I'm in love with a man nearly twice my age/don't know what it is but it's a hit for my youthful days/As I go my way I don't care what people sayI'm in love with a man nearly twice my age
- Shabba Ranks and Krystal

We see it every day on the streets - an older man with a younger woman or vice versa. But some people, especially in Jamaican society, think that there is something seriously wrong with this kind of union and at times look in dismay at the couples.

But 28-year-old Suzanne Shirley, who has been in a relationship with a man 18 years her senior for more than five years, says she has no problem dating the man who is 'old enough to be her father'.

Mama's boy

George Brown, 23, has been involved with 54-year-old woman Sharon Smithfor the past two years. His mother hates the idea and is depressed about her son being, in her mind, trapped with an older woman. But he is happy with the relationship and refuses to be a mama's boy.

However, there is a tendency for some older spouse to become obsessive, as there is a fear of losing their younger spouse.

Twenty-seven-year-old Kevin McDougal, who was dating a 38-year-old woman for about two months, says he is now looking over his shoulders each time he walks on the street because the woman has become a stalker.

McDougal says curiosity drove him to experiment.

Pressure for sex

"But now she just won't leave me alone," McDougal relates. She calls him constantly and even turns up at his workplace. This, he says, makes him uncomfortable. The woman, who is involved in another relationship and also has a teenage son, calls constantly, pressuring him for sex.

Dr Asquith Reid, clinical psychologist, says some older persons hook up with younger spouses to recapture their youth. "A young romantic lover is good for them because they pull out their best and reignite the flame," says Reid.

He also notes that older partners generally have strong maternal or paternal instincts and often care for their younger spouses as they would their offspring.

Reid says the age gap romance is more prevalent with older men and younger women.

This, he said, was because some men lost their appetite for their wives as some women were now focusing on the children and other matters on the home front. Men also find their partners less attractive as women age.

The psychologist argues that younger women date older men because they associate age with maturity and stability, elements often missing from younger partners. He also notes that many young people need companionship as they feel that they did not get enough from their parents. Wealth, he says, was also a factor as some younger spouses want financial security.

Names changed upon request

petrina.francis@gleanerjm.com