My wife is 39 and I am 38. We got married in our early 20s, and at that time we had a fantastic sexual relationship. She was a real passionate woman, who loved to have intercourse and who liked doing oral sex. She could discharge again and again.

But about four years ago everything started going wrong. It began one night when I was feeling real low, because our son had been killed in a shooting. I needed sex to cheer me up.

But when I tried to caress my wife in bed, she pushed me away, doc. I was real angry, and I got out of the bed and slept in a chair.

From that time onwards things have not gone well in the sack. I cannot remember the last time my wife discharged. She shows no real interest in sex with me, though she usually lets me do it around once per month.

The rest of our life is OK. She is a good woman and looks after the house and does all the necessary cooking, cleaning, etc. She kisses me 'hello' and 'goodbye' each day. And she says she still loves me.

But this lack of sex is driving me crazy, doc. There is a girl at the office who has made it pretty clear that she would be willing to go to bed with me. In fact, next week we are supposed to be going for a drink together after work.

But I would like to solve the problem with my wife. What do you think is wrong with her, doc? Could it be 'a women's hormone problem?'

A I beg you NOT to go for that 'drink after work', which will almost certainly lead you into the paths of adultery before very long!

Look: you say you love your wife a lot. And, apparently, she loves you. It would be foolish to risk this marriage for the sake of a pretty girl at the office.

Now, you ask me what I think is wrong with your wife. No, I do NOT think she has a 'women's hormone problem' - especially as she will probably not reach the menopause for another 10 years.

So what is the difficulty? I think the key to the problem lies in your remark about your son being 'killed in a shooting' four years ago.

I am sure this was real tough for you. But I feel you do not appreciate the massive emotional effect that it must have had on your wife. Please note that it was just after this tragedy that she lost her interest in sex.

I have quite often seen women patients who lost all interest in intercourse, or who lost the ability to discharge, after a child had passed away. It is a shattering blow for a mother!

I have very little doubt that your poor wife has not yet come to terms with the death of your son. Therefore, it is essential that you ask her to see a counsellor who can help her explore her feelings about his passing. My guess is that over a period of months, the counsellor could help her feel better - and very possibly regain her interest in sex.

Meantime, please try NOT to 'play away'.

A Well, the risks from taking the pill - such as heart attacks and strokes - do become greater after the age of 40. However, if you are a non-smoker, and have a normal blood pressure, and don't have 'sugar', then some docs would say 'Go ahead and take the Pill'.

But others would feel that it could be safer for you to switch to another method - such as the Mini-Pill (progestogen-only pill).

A The commonest cause of blood in the stool is piles - also known as haemorrhoids.

However, in anyone aged over 30, there is a chance of a more serious cause - namely, cancer of the bowel.

Therefore, I urge you to consult a doc this week, in order to have the rectum examined. Do not delay!

A This is just possible. Anxiety attacks (panic attacks) are real common, and often cause symptoms related to the chest, like those you have experienced.

In contrast, asthma attacks usually cause a 'fee-fee' sound in the chest. But really, you need to ask a doc to sound your chest, and to give you special 'breathing tests' for asthma.

A The penis stops growing at around the age of 17 or 18. Yes, it should be safe for you to take a circumcision 'op' at the age of 34, but first of all, you should discuss with a doc your reasons for wanting this operation.

A I think you need to have a doc look at these lesions to see what they really are. I suspect they might be caused from a little skin fungus, and if that turns out to be correct then an anti-fungal medication will probably get rid of them.

A No, multiple orgasms cannot harm a woman, away from the fact they she may be rather tired next day.

A This does not sound like syphilis, but to be frank, it could be cancerous. Let us hope not. But I beg you to see a doctor tomorrow.

A No, regular intercourse cannot cause a pain in the belly. Your wife must see a doc about this pain, and have a good internal check-up and maybe some tests.