Dear Ms Thompson,
Thank you for your very insightful articles. I note where you quoted from Dr. Abel's article of November 21, pointing out that "violence against women takes the form of physical, sexual, emotional, economic and spiritual abuse". Dr. Abel had added, in his article, that violence against women "may also involve constant threats and intimidation".
I wish to point out a specific area of abuse that Dr. Abel hinted at almost as an aside, and which you did not mention in your column: verbal abuse. I speak specifically of the use of words to destroy the soul, occurring on its own or as the forerunner and companion of the other types of abuse you mentioned. Verbal abuse is experienced as a kind of brainwashing that erodes the self-esteem of the target and debilitates her physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and economically as well.
The woman can then come to believe that she actually deserves the other forms of abuse if or when they occur directly. She may well respond by blaming herself for whatever failings the man accuses her of, without realising that what is demanded of her is to relinquish total control to the spouse. The problem with verbal abuse is not so much when it is overt as when it is covert and too subtle to be detected.
Verbal abusers come in either gender or any sexual orientation, and can be found in schools, churches, and workplaces. However, it is a particular feature of the modern patriarchy where methods of asserting power and control over women may need to be more subtle.
Yvonne McCalla Sobers
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