Spencer

Ken Jones, Contributor

One of my favourite poets, Felicia Dorothea Hemans, advised in one of her works: "Talk not of grief 'til you hast seen the tears of warlike men."

Unhappily, young Kern Spencer cannot be numbered among the weeping warriors of yore, or even some of those of modern times.

The lachrymose legislator has already described himself as a sentimental soul who cannot resist an urge to open his tear ducts and let the drips fall where they may. I am told by someone unreliable that on one occasion he quickly fetched his hankie when he heard Mr. Speaker saying something that sounded like: "The eyes have it!"

Many have tried to analyse the reason for Spencer's crying.

One explanation that comes to my mind is that just prior to the shedding of tears, he had twice attempted to rise from his seat and was ordered by a burly colleague to sit down. He dutifully did so.

However, it might be that the young legislator had really desired to pass a motion or go to the washroom for relief. Of course, being forced to hold one's water can eventually result in outpourings from the eyes and elsewhere.

If this is the case, few lawyers would want to hold his brief; and perhaps attorney Bobby Pickersgill would have to take that responsibility, for it was he who pooh-poohed the idea of Spencer leaving his seat.

Weeping for a reason

It is certainly not cricket to play a bawl game in the House. More appropriately, Roger Clarke did his in the National Arena after being ousted as vice-president of the PNP.

But in fairness, at the kernel of the matter is the fact that Spencer is not the first or only Jamaican politician to do it. Others have wept for a variety of reasons; some as mere eyewash, as crocodile tears or even hogwash. But there have been occasions when parliamentarians have had their ties and collars washed in genuine eye-water.

The great Norman Washington did not consider it unmanly to shed tears when his deputy 'Crab' Nethersole died suddenly of a heart attack in 1959. Chief Minister Manley was in the process of reporting to Parliament that the Finance Minister, in the midst of preparing the Budget, had suffered a seizure and passed away.

It was a terrible blow for the whole country and at the funeral, N.W. was again unable to control the tears. As a courageous ex-soldier Mr. Manley's crying was indeed induced by heartfelt pain.

His cousin Bustamante, often embroiled in emotional situations, was never known to cry when referring to matters affecting the poor, he very often used the phrase "my heart cries".

Joining in the tearful lamentation at Nethersole's death was Wills O. Isaacs. This was, of course, no big surprise for he, the so-called 'stormy petrel' already had a reputation for emotional outbursts, accompanied by tears.

Some of his naughty antagonists in the PNP secretly called him 'weeping wills-o', and they likened him to two international politicos of those times, Syngman Rhee, President of South Korea, and the revolutionary Mohammed Mossadegh of Iran; both were well-known weepers.

Histrionic talent

Like Wills, Mossadegh was credited with considerable histrionic talent. He was known to employ theatrical tactics as part of his strategies and would sometimes snivel and break into tears while addressing his legislators.

Occasionally he would fall in a faint, which some thought was feigned. Eventually, he had just cause to weep and did so when in 1953, he was undermined, over-thrown, arrested and declared guilty of treason.

America may be a far cry from Iran but there, too, we can find a pool of weeping politicians.

When Senator Edmund Muskie was conducting his 1972 presidential campaign he was moved to defend his wife against a journalistic assault on her character.

Standing before the newspaper offices on a wintry day, he made an emotional speech with streaming eyes. The press quickly responded by reporting Muskie as breaking down in tears. Muskie explained that it wasn't tears but melted snowflakes running down his face, but the voters didn't sympathise and he was obliged to drop out of the race.

George Bush, the elder, cried openly as he sang the praises of his son, Governor Jeb Bush. However, by then, he had gone into retirement and did not have to face the voters.

President Bill Clinton was all wet during the Monica Lewinsky encounter, but the 'slick willie' got away with it.

Those may have been genuine teardrops of remorse, but on another occasion, he was laughing and joking at a funeral when the cameras caught his eye. In a wink, he was changing his countenance, biting his lower lip, knitting his brow and getting ready to dab his eyes.

Everyone cries

Brave military leaders have also been known to cry. The tough U.S. General Norman Schwarzkopf kept wiping his eyes at a Christmas ceremony for his troops.

That was nothing when compared to medieval France's legendary warrior Roland. It is said that he, along with 20,000 other knights, cried so copiously after a losing battle that they fainted and fell from their horses.

Another sufferer was St. Francis of Assisi who is said to have gone blind because of the frequency of his weeping.

Modern preachers don't cry that much, but we have seen heart-rending performances by misbehaving televangelists such as Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker.

I have my doubts about the sincerity of tears shed by Swaggart and Bakker, for I know that there are people able to cry on cue.

As a boy, I remember mortician Leslie Madden showing me how he could summon up and release a stream of tears to empathise with mourners at his place of business. I also recall Lewis Carroll's walrus, weeping for the oysters as he hungrily devoured them.

So, I am treating this bulb business light-heartedly. Much like when the pianist Liberace was asked how deeply hurt he felt when libelled by a millionaire. He grinned and said: "I'll be crying all the way to the bank."